Midnight In Paris

Chapter 4: "I Am Wonderwoman"

"Ooooh, that would look so great on you!!!" January lifted a set of blazing hot red lace panties with a matching bra.

"Nah," I said.

"Here, I'll buy it for you. I heard there was a party next week. The time has come, my little baby moron, to loosen it a little bit."

"Nah," I shook my head.

"Come on, Sarah! If you don't do it now, you will be the forty year old virgin-"

"With a hundred cats, I know." I said, sighing.

"It's not so bad, you know. I bet your police chick you have as an aunt told you a thousand times about STDs, teenage pregnancy, AIDS, HIV, and surely told you about the 'no sex before marriage' policy. But I mean, look at me, I've been with half of the men in the world, never used a condom and never tasted a birth control pill. And look at me!" she spun around, "I am wonderwoman. It's not scary, it doesn't even hurt! The best part is when you get him to-"

"Ew ew ew ew! January! Stop it! Spare me the details! First, Jeannie, Marie-Claire never told me anything about sex. In fact, you did when your last boyfriend broke up with you, and second of all, I am completely aware of all the risks and aren't a tiny bit scared of them."

"Fine, you are untalktable. If that word even exists."

"Let's go grab a bite, pleaaase. I'm starving."

"Well, I'm starving for that guy over there!" She pointed at a guy smoking a cigarette sitting on a bench outside.

"Gosh, if Marie-Claire saw you, my little Jeannie..." I shook my head, crossing my arms. "Well, I'll let you deal with the hot guy. I'll go eat by myself. Mwah," I kissed her on the cheek. She never even tried to stop me.

I stopped at a nice bistro on the corner of the road. I sat and ordered a sandwitch. I checked my phone, they were no new messages from anyone.

“Hey you,” I recognised the male voice immediately.

“Mike, hi.”

“Hello beauty. So, you thinking about showing up at the party Saturday?”

“I don’t know yet. I don’t even know whose party it is.”

“Oh well, who cares? It’s just another slut who’s throwing another party in her tiny apartment with access to her parents’ liquor cabinet and after ten minutes people will get bored then start making out it public.”

“that doesn’t sound like somewhere my aunt would let me go to. Unless she’s planning on sending a bunch of pals on us.”

“You and your aunt are no fun at all, are you Pooh? “

“Stop calling me that, Mickey Mouse. I know you still sleep in that Mickey Mouse PJs sometimes.”

“That is not true.” He said, blushing. He looked really cute when he blushes. Kind of. So not.

“Well, next time you go to bed think about closing the curtains before.”

“Fine.”

“So, I see Teresa Cupid is not with you.”

“Nah, I’m bored of her. Plus, she gets so many clients these days. She’s real fun, you know. Unlike some people…”

“Shut up.” I said, biting into my sandwich.

“That seems yummy,” Mike said, taking my sandwich and then  biting into it, taking half of it at once. ”Nah, not as yummy as expected.”

“Hey! You are paying for this. Unlike some people, I am not as disgusting as you are.”

“Oh come on!” Mike said, stuffing the sandwich in my mouth.

I had to swallow the sandwich with some disgust, I must admit. Marie-Claire had always been harsh when it came to food. But I only did that because people were looking at us. Mike tried to keep himself from bursting out laughing, but I could see he enjoyed what he was seeing.

“Hey, mademoiselle, could you and your boyfriend keep your voices down a little? People are getting suspicious,” asked me a waiter, to who I nodded as a ‘yes’. 

“Did he just call me your ‘boyfriend’?” Mike whispered with a giggle, like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard.

“I can’t believe it. You are like, so not my boyfriend. You are not even my type.”

“So, what is your type? Blonde and blue eyes? Like Mitch? You little whore, I saw him come out of your apartment the other day.” 

I felt devastated

“What? What are you talking about you man-whore?”

“Yeah, don’t pretend like it didn’t happen…I know you did it with him.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh Em Gee, Sarah! You dirty little slut, he invaded your untouched territory!”

“No he didn’t,” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes he did! I know that he explored the lower kingdom.”

“Oh stop it with your metaphors!”

“Oh, she blushed! Does that mean I get my turn?”

“Of course not. Nothing happened. I saw Mitch once, okay? It was last week, and Marie-Claire picked him up from the road when it was raining and invited him over for dinner, that’s all.     “

He sighed, “Too bad. But wait, I still get the chance to have the privilege to invade your untouched territory. Oooh, that gets me all excited!”

I stood up to leave.

 “Well, think whatever you like, Mickey Mouse. By the way, you’re paying for my turkey sandwich.”

“B-bye,” he said, drinking the whole can of Coca that I hadn’t touched.

With a wave I went home. It had already started to rain by the time I arrived.

Why is the weather in Paris so terrible?

“I have to handle that big guy,” I thought. “I so am Wonderwoman.”