(It's okay) if you don't remember

Friday - Part 2

As they were approaching the house Lexa could sense the slight knot in her stomach take form. She looking over at the blonde, her best friend, the only person in the world that held the power to break her apart and put her back together. She didn't really think about it at the time, hadn't since that night back in late freshman year, still her body remembered. The blonde didn't know at the time, would probably never either, she didn't know about the memories or the cause of them. At the first party they attended Lexa witnessed the blonde play on her best traits - she captivated the whole room, especially one boy who wouldn't stop staring at her in all the wrong ways. Wrong ways for Lexa, yet the only way the blondes wanted to be looked at that night. The panic and fear hit the green eyed girl all at once, so she did what any other teenage do in the situation of wanting desperately to get attention from the person you love - she gave herself to somebody else.

It wasn't perfect. Nor horrible. Although, not memorable.

Lexa looked at Clarke and felt every emotion. All the doubt. Panic. Terror. Love. All of the emotions that harboured within her chest, always on the verge of exploding. She looked at those blonde curls, blue ocean eyes and saw the woman a small girl grown up to be. She saw all of what she was and would be. There was something in her that knew, knew that that night would end up being one of those she'd never forget.

Clarke lead the way to the door once they arrived and the warmth from inside reached them immediately as she opened the door. The house was crowded, the air smoky and Lexa could already tell she'd have a handful with the blonde later on.

"I'll get us some drinks", the blonde yelled over the thumping music and squeezed Lexa's hand before disappearing into the crowd.

The green eyed girl took a second to look around, which meant trying to look over all the heads and perhaps find Raven somewhere among all the people she didn't recognize. The atmosphere was thumping, loud and vibrating. Although she can't find either of her friends she feels lighter, ready even to waste away another night and try to replace the panic with temporary joy. Lexa pushed through the crowd until she got into the living room, there she found an empty armrest and sat down. Her green eyes scanned the room once again for the girls, or really anyone that she might have seen before, but to her surprise she didn't recognize anyone. Because of the company she kept and the pace she went through them Lexa had made herself contacts in all circles, not to mention gotten herself some beyond high school age. It was quite enjoyable, she thought, not to recognize anyone or have to put on a act for someone that she might have known once upon a time.

"Do you smoke?".

It took the green eyed girl to realize that the question had been directed at her. Once she did she looked over at a woman with sun kissed skin and deep brown eyes.

"Only when I want to forget", Lexa told her and earned herself a smirk from the unknown woman.

"Interesting", the woman murmured and offering Lexa the pack of cigarettes. Lexa eyed the woman, slowly, taking her time to notice the slightest touch of eyeliner around those deep eyes, the necklace barely noticeable under the collar of her blazer. She had to be a college student, Lexa thought, that knot in her stomach slowly fading to the back of her mind. She had a purpose for this night thanks to this woman. Those green eyes of her return to meet brown ones, and she accepted the packet. "So, what are we forgetting?", the woman asked as Lexa picked out the lighter from the packet and lit her cigarette.

She took a deep inhale and breathed out the smoke with her chest burning, "For now? Everything".

The smoke tasted tary, made the younger girl's chest tighten for a moment before her lungs tried to clean themselves with air. She really didn't smoke much, never liked the taste or the feel of it, but on the other side it had never made her feel sick to her stomach. Not like other, less deadly, things did.