Here's the next installment of Ways to Annoy... I know, it's long over due, but here it is. Ways to annoy Carlisle. I'm sorry to say, but I don't own all of these.
1. Kill Esme (Uh, yeah, that would be pretty annoying. Better get the obvious out of the way first.)
2. Follow him around singing Adele.
3. When he asks why tell him it's because he was reminding him of his home country.
4. Throw all his doctor coats in the river right before he has to go to work.
5. Sign him up to be an underwear model.
6. Write a love note to Carlisle and sign it from a pretty nurse.
7. Stick it in his jacket pocket so when Esme washes it she'll see it.
8. Better yet, spray his jacket with perfume.
9. And smude lipstick on the collar.
10. Ask him if he has a TARDIS (DW referance)
11. Ask him if he likes Rose, Martha, Donna, or Amy better (another DW referance)
12. Start talking all about River in front of Esme (I swear, that is the last DW referance)
13. Ask him if he's Team Edward or Team Jacob.
14. Ask him if he'll change your dying dog.
15. Throw a party and trash the house.
16. Steal the keys to his car and wreck it.
17. Tell him he's a pediphiole.
18. Constantly remind him that three of his children are older than his wife.
19. Tell him Aro keeps a picture of him in his bedroom.
20. Casually go to the ER everyday and ask to see him.
21. Everytime you get hurt for the smallest thing (ie: papercut, stubbed toe) run to him and tell him your dying and need to be changed.
22. Tell him he should host a dating show since he's such a great matchmaker.
23. Burn the hospital to the ground.
24. Never leave his house and pretend you own it.
25. Everytime he goes to work tell him to get you some blood bags.
26. Everytime you see him sing Doctor, Doctor.
27. Ask him which closet he keeps his torches and pitchforks in.
28. Volunteer him to be the children's pastor at church.
29. Volunteer him for story tim at the elementary school.
30. Fill bowls with bear blood and arrange them on the dining room table.
31. When Esme asks about it say Carlisle thought he'd be a good husband and make dinner.
32. For added effect, keep some of the blood in the bear and stuff it in the fridge.
33. Set out all the kids lunch boxes in the morning and fill them with blood.
34. Leave a note signed by Carlisle saying he packed the kids lunches so Esme wouldn't have to.
35. Everyday take him a sandwich to work.
36. When he won't eat it make a big scene so he's forced to.
37. Fill his playlist with Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber.
38. Make his ringtone Sexy and I Know It.
39. Make him watch a marathon of the saddest movies ever.
40. Cry very loudly during them.
41. Ask him why he's not crying.
42. When he says he can't cry tell him he's a heartless monster and walk away.
43. Ask him to change you every five seconds.
44. When he doesn't threaten to jump of a cliff.
45. Draw a mustache on every family picture he has.
46. Invite the wolves over.
47. Provoke them until they change into wolved inside the house.
48. Blame it on Calisle and run.
49. Carve Edward's name into the side of of his car.
That was 49 ways to annoy Carlisle. I don't think I have to warn you about death by doing this, he's normally not really into killing people. Except maybe for the first one, the first one you'll get killed for. Any suggestions for what to do next?