BOOTS OF STEEL!!!!

Blade Sunhunter was vippantly scouring the forest for brimy shrubs to make his healing tea to heal the horrible gushing wounds in his chest. His long luxurious locks of black hair with streaks of gold in it fell over his super tan shoulders in ivory waves and his white shoes had lots of blood and stuff on them...which he thought was annoying.

Anyway, he was out collecting plantstuffs because his mother was sick with the plague as well as his village. And they all needed special 'herbs' to heal them...alas, for the herbs to work he needed to fall in love with a princess which he would have to save multiple times from dragons...and stuff. Surely a princess would fall for his dashing good looks, long flowing hair and really great facial structure.

For he was a brave handsome young man with daddy issues. His dad could not be around him very much because he had the plague.

On this day, it was very cloudy. And this made Blade sad, because he loved the sun and sometimes he liked to sit in the sun, and read a book..that is if he could read a book, for alas, he was underprivileged and illiterate. But he was not dumb. He could read plants, and sometimes, he could talk to the animals, it was really cool, but totally secret. So when his plague ridden sister asked him why he was talking to the dog, he had to say that he was suffering from a mild case of dementia.

He was having a hard time walking around because of his gaping wounds. But then he heard a scream in the near distance.

"Oh my god help me!" Said a Floyantly girly voice "I lost my shoe in the river and will someone please get it for me?"

Because he was a good guy, Blade went over to the river and picked up the shoe. He returned it to the lady who was very pretty. She was six feet tall with really big...eyes. He could tell that she liked him because she looked at him and smiled with prusely white teeth.

"Wow" She said "Your sword is really big."

"Thank you" He said "it is big, to kill things with."

"Big things?" She asked.

"Uhh...yeah" He answered and then asked "Say why are your boots made out of steel?"

"It is because to protect my feet" She answered "And I shall always wear them.

Blade put the boot back on her wet foot.

"Your hands are so warm" She said.

Blade blushed. And then stood up and looked at her "Fair river maiden who lives near the river, what is your name?"

"Oh does it matter...umm...guy who retrieves shoes from the river. For I shall leave in the morning to my warr ridden village and shall probably parish...there is only one thing that I will regret."

"Oh." Blade thought she was pretty which was why he wanted to help her. But after thinking he couldn't guess what. "What?"

She looked a little annoyed that she had to spell it out for him "Well gee...might be dying tomorrow, in a valley with a...we'll categorize you as cute I guess...guy...maybe just 'guy'" She added under her breath.

He looked blankly.

"My virginity." She stated clearly "I want to lose my virginity."

"Oh...oh..." Blade rubbed the back of his neck "God-I'm sorry I feel like such an idiot"

"No no" She assured him "That's okay I totally understand-"

"No, I'm sorry-really...god..."

"...hmmm..."

Blade looked at his feet.

The maiden shuffled uncomfortably.

Blade looked up "So should I-"

"Yes" She said quickly "You probably should."

And then they had really hot passionate sex in the dirt.