The Stretch Mark Club

Chapter 7: Oh No She Didn't

Every mom has to parent in her own way.

Riley

4 Months Old…

We were all invited--Everett, Zoe and me. It was Jasmine’s birthday. Hector set the whole thing up, which gave him a certain amount of redemption for his surly mood and lack of involvement, but I was still skeptical. I’m Jasmine’s friend. It’s my job.

It was initially supposed to be a surprise party--Jasmine, her mom and her sister all went dress shopping for her sister’s upcoming Quincenera as the ruse--but I don’t think Hector fully thought that one through. You try hiding three 4-month-old babies silently behind the couch. Jasmine sure was surprised when she walked in and heard a chorus of wails coming from the corner without a baby in sight. After that we all sort of meandered out of our hiding spots and waved.

Half an hour later, I knew what my next pregnancy food would be. Not that I was thinking about my next pregnancy--God, no--but with each bite of authentic Mexican food all I could think about was how badly I wanted an excuse to eat as much of it as possible.

“Seriously, I forgot how hot your husband is,” Jasmine said behind her hand as we stood in the corner, eating off of paper plates and looking at out the party--in particular, Everett narrating his dinner to Zoe, who sat in his lap.

“Well, once Ashton Kutcher wasn't available anymore, I said, 'what the hell?'”

Jasmine’s family was there--her mom, her three younger sisters and her grandparents--and Hector’s family too--his older brother and parents. Everett and I didn’t exactly fit in, but they all accepted us graciously. In fact, Jasmine’s mom, Claudia, insisted I sit next to her and tell her all about life as a mom.

“Are you still nursing?” she asked me, which I thought was a little forward for someone I’d met forty-five minutes earlier but hell, I’d been through it all. What was a little over-sharing?

I nodded.

“Good. If I had any say, I’d have Jasmine nurse for a year. Even up to two years. That milk...it’s so nutritious.”

I smiled, hoping my politeness overshadowed my discomfort. “Nursing can be a lot of work. And Jasmine has twice as many mouths to feed.”

She waved my comment away. “I had three girls, and I nursed every single on of them to two years. Actually, Daniella was a year and a half but only because I got an infection.”

I hadn’t thought about how long I planned to nurse, but two years seemed a bit excessive to me. And the last time I’d broached the subject with Jasmine, I’m pretty sure she said, “As soon as I can pry them off the things.” But I didn’t argue with her mom. It wasn’t my place.

“How does she sleep?” Claudia asked.

“Well,” I said.

“I hope she’s sleeping in her own crib in her nursery by now. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Escuchame. If you spoil her now, you’ll be fighting her for the rest of your life. Just look at Jasmine.”

I did. She had Andrea in her arms and was rocking her back and forth, nothing but love in her eyes, despite Andrea's screaming. Just then, Everett came over and held Zoe out to me.

“Can you hold her while I go to the bathroom?” he asked. I gave him my best “rescue me” eyes, but when he didn’t get the hint, I agreed.

“So does she?” Claudia prodded. Sleep in her crib, she meant.

“Mostly.” What else could I say?  She was searching for something to pounce on and I wasn't going to give it to her.

Jasmine came over, Andrea still pouting in her arms.