Beloved of a King

Chapter 23 - Dreams That Cannot Be

My dearest sister,

 

I have received word from a trusted friend at court that the Princess Madeleine has married Lord Maximilian Phillodrow.  Their union should be a most grave threat for your child, and although I truly think that the king had not consented to it, it would mean civil war should the Queen be put aside for your sake.  For the time being, I ask you stay within the confines of Marius’ accommodation for you.  I am doing my best to work things out for you so that you can go back to court.  Andrew will be staying with you, and until I send for you do not, at any rate, try to escape the region.  Lady Mother is determined at keeping you from ever coming back here, and her reach is far and wide that I would rather have you living with the commoners at the moment than risking your capture.

 I arranged for Miss Olliver and I to be married tomorrow (if you have received this at the right hour, then we are being married as you read this) and I will have her fortune cover our expenses for the raising of troops.  I doubt father will let his tenants stand in line for us, so we will have to do this all by ourselves.

His Majesty and the Duke St. John’s men have captured King Gustaf’s nephew, brother to the Princess Catherine’s husband.  I have sent an emissary to the battlefield and he will be noting the progress of the war for you.  After the negotiations for the princess’ return I will have him reveal to the king this treasonous scandal by his cousin.  If everything goes on as planned, we can have you back before Christmas. We need for you to give birth here, grandfather says.

 

Sincerely ICM,

Richard

 

“I am done for.” Hélène muttered to herself.  With all these circumstances at hand she was now starting to consider taking Marius’ offer of running away.

In her lonely cottage where rats roam free and nobody would ever seem to bother talking to her, many things entered her mind, thoughts that she did not entertain before but now she could not help not to.

In times of solitude such as these she thought of how isolated she became by pursuing things she had not dreamed of before.  She was just twenty-three, and she’s already living a life that is not worth living.  When she came to the court her heart was full of hope, even though the decision that started this all cost her the love of her sister.  Everyday she would walk looking behind her back, trying to sense if there was someone following her who should not.  Her doubt in everyone sank in and she was practically trapped in her confinement.  With the winter wind growing colder every minute, her hopes of ever seeing court again falls.

Looking for a shawl, Hélène realised she might be celebrating the season alone.  She had Sarah, but even with riches presented to her she would still want to go home for the celebration.  She barely knew Andrew, and even that man would not wish to spend the Lord’s season with her.  Yes, she had Richard, but when she thought of it, she recalled he was a married man now.  Although Mary Olliver, who was now called Countess Herling, would not really own him heart and soul, nothing would ever be the same again.  He now has a wife, and he was now bound to her.  She thought she would become happy for her brother, him finally settling down with a girl from a powerful family, but it just stressed how solitary she had become.

But then suddenly she recalled she has her children.  Lovely as it might seem to her, her children growing steadily inside her was her only refuge in this storm.  If they had been born already she would smother them with kisses and sing them lullaby.  For as long as they stay in her body they are safe, but once they go out their fate would be undetermined.  They could be the king’s children, and she has been convincing herself all this time that they really were.  She wanted to apologise to them, ask forgiveness for what destiny might give them following her sinful activities.  If they were her brother’s children…