Fallen Angel

I should have saved him. It's my fault he's dead for good. No deal's with demons or death could bring back my pain-in-the-ass little brother. Ever since that day, I've been tracking the son of a bitch that killed him. I remember that day as if it was yesterday, I sadly remember every single detail. I remember holding my brother stroking his hair as he look his last breath. "Dean.." He managed to choke out,before his motionless eyes just stared at me longingly. I gently tapped his face, hoping it would rouse him. "Come on you bitch, you can't leave me... not yet" I beg of him before it sunk in with long-lasting pain. I've lost him. I've lost my hope, my best friend and my brother all at the same time.

I bet that he's probably laughing somewhere watching me sorrow in this pain. I wish it was just all a nightmare or something,something that wasn't real. Somehow all my fears have come true and everyone I've loved have died. Some sacrificed themselves so we could kill a demon. Some, their time was up. Others died for loved ones and made a deal for a demon for them to live.

Never in a million years, would I pick Sammy to be next. I should be the one dead. I'm the big brother that should be watching over him,not the other way round. This life, has fucked us up real bad. Innocent lives were lost because of us (mostly me...), protecting us. I wish people wouldn't do that,that's just putting them in more danger than they are. Ever since Mum died, I've always protected Sammy as if it was my Job. No way could I see my little innocent brother get hurt, we could never be separated until he went to collage or whatever to get a job and that's when he got involved with the family business again. After his girlfriend was killed by the same thing that killed Mum, all he wanted was revenge.

Dad wanted revenge which is why when we were younger; Sam and I were left alone in a hotel most of the time.

I remember when he was 5, he'd always ask questions like; Why didn't we have a Mum?, Where did Dad go?. I never answered because I wanted him to be a kid. A kid who didn't have to worry about what might happen if Dad won't come back, a kid who could at least have a half normal life. That was only a dream,I guess. A dream for my little brother which wasn't fulfilled. He's always gonna be my little brother no matter what. I'd do the unthinkable for him, I would die for him to live.

Slowly on the inside, I'm dying. My heart aches every time I remember my brother's not here. I cry, wishing I could reverse time. My angel didn't even come to me when I literally screamed my heart out for him to save Sam. What an angel he is. Doesn't even come when I need him, why do I even have an angel? He's a pathetic angel. Seems like the whole universe is against me when I need help, suppose I deserve that for what I've done. I wonder what Sammy might say to me now? Probably something to stop me from doing something stupid.

Actually that stupid thing doesn't sound too bad at this moment in time. I would do it to be with my brother, it would only seem fair considering how many times I've died... but never permanently. I remember I sold my soul for Sam, I never regretted that. I was just scared to go to hell, what it would be like and if I would get out... alive. Hell is a place that I'm never going to go again and I'm certain of that.

Sometimes I wish none of this shit happened to us. Why us? Out of countless families, why us? What's so special about us? I know that Sam was the vessel of Lucifer. But out of all the kids, why him? The hell we went through because of the family business almost killed us both, and it eventually did. I feel so alone, I have nothing left to live for anymore. No-one left to protect but myself.

I look up at the rope that has been fashioned into a noose, dangling on the hook above me. I drag a chair directly under the noose. I start to feel a little sick and scared now, but I push through and force myself to stand on the chair. The chair feels like it's going to break, but it's not... I think. I take a couple of deep, heavy breaths before I slip my head into the noose and kick the chair away with my feet.

There a snap of my neck, I open my eyes and smile as I look up at the familiar clothes that belonged to my little brother. At long last we are reunited forever. He places his hand out for me, I gladly take it. "Hey Sammy"