ABUSED LOVE

CHAPTER-5

Sitting for hours I didn't know how long I have been hearing the sound of leaves crushing behind when the hair behind my neck rose. I got alarmed slowly going to my waist band to take the knife out only to hear a voice that once soothed me "its me. Lucifer".

"Go away" I replied harshly when I felt his arm brush mine as he sat next to me. "Im not going to ask about your past. You dont have to tell me. I came here to say now that I'm completely healed I'm leaving tomorrow. Just wanna make sure you still wanna have your end of the deal?" He asked indirectly if I still want to be killed by him tomorrow.

I nodded my head getting up and lending him helping hands. "You sure?" He asked uncertainly as if he doesn't want to. "More now than before" was all I said as we walked back home in silence.

After changing I made two cups of coffee handing one to him, who is busy packing when I took my seat near the window as usual for the one last time.

I then noticed him staring at a picture of a small girl inside his wallet slowly tracing circles on her face when I started to speak.

"I was molested when I was studying in fourth grade. He undressed me and his hands grazed all over my body with his eyes greedy in lust. Before he could steal my virginity I ran away from the place back home. I was scared to tell my parents the truth as I was sure that they are going to scold me for my stupidity. I was scared, terrified to step out of my house. Ofcourse why wouldn't I be because I was just a kid in 4th grade. I was still in trauma when I came home one day to find my mom dead because she had breastcancer and they all hid it from me. After my mom died my dad got drunk and abusive. My brother was the only person who protected me by wrapping his arms around my tiny frame everytime my dad tried to hit me. But how long could he too take hits for me as he is a human too. Until one day when he fled leaving me alone not thinking once what will happen to me. Since then dad made sure I know how big of a burden I am and how disgusted he is to see my face when he hit me and burned his cigaret on my skin if I answered back to him. After gaining lots of slaps, my hearing tendancy on the left ear reduced drastically leaving me deaf on the left ear. He got more abusive day by day until one day police caught him stamping repeatedly on my stomach and broke my ribcage kicking me hard. They arrested him and threw that psychotic monster inside the jail. Since then I was haunted with nightmares of my dad coming to kill me. I was 18 by the time my dad was arrested so I told them ill start living on my own. I started working when one day my bartender partner locked me inside the girls washroom and started seducing me all over, touching and kissing every inch of my body. I pushed him away when he reached for my lips and I ran out of the washroom far away before he could catch me. One day I spilled some drink by mistakely on my shirt so I had to remove them to dry my shirt only to see my boss watching me. He then came closer and slowly placed a hand on my chest massaging my breast whispering in my ears *resist and you will be fired from this job.* I kept quiet when he touched all over my body and worshipped my body. Since then i hated my body. As I saw his desires for sex and lust increasing I started resisting more. But the more I resisted this happened" I said tearing my shirt apart showing him my scars on the chest and stomach and shoulder blade and back. His eyes widened when he saw big scars. "Just when I couldn't take it anymore I ran away from the place and decided to kill myself before finding you in the alley. I was abused,burdened ,torchered and been left alone my whole life to be suffered from seperation anxiety that I never got any friends" I said looking down letting the tears flow and pain to go away from my chest but it only seemed to increase. He stood up and slowly made his way towards me cupping my face making me look at his eyes as I whispered "I don't want to live anymore. Unlike you I have no reason. My present is awful enough that I don't want a future just to go through this pain. I'm a human and I can also take only enough pain. But I took more than my capacity and still thought there is good out there. But the world is only filled with bullies and there is no way in hell, good awaits for abused ones like me". Then he rested his forehead against mine whispering "stay for me." Confused not sure as what I heard I replied "what?". "Live for me" he said confidently with full conviction this time. "Why?" I asked now at loss of words looking at his eyes for answers. "Cuz I love you dammit" was all he said before smashing his lips on mine.