New Years Resolution.
I, Liz Hartly, this year shall not smoke, drink or tex- hang on? This can't be right... Well I promise not to date a
Workaholic
Alcholic
Pervert
Peodophile
The over 60's
and the mentally ill (Eventhough my mother has been try to get me to date that schizophrenic, who was absolutly gorgeous!) But I still stand by my word and say, no, no more this year I will get myself a decent man, no more of mum's social parties, or blind dates provided by Karen. I'm on a mission to get myself the perfect man.
I had a few in mind for the perfect boyfriend such as the undoutbably gorgeous Jeffery, but I think after yesterdays telegram disater i dont think he's going to talk so easily to me, so i have to make an impression today, to show i am sophisticated and i don't send telegrams, down the phone, spelling out cuntingness. so it was time to be miss sexy slut of the century, although i wasn't so sure about it but, i was sure, that this outfit could win over any mans heart... The only problem was, at work we have a pervet or 5, who continuesly think it's exceptable to stare at my tits or my arse. But i was willing to take the risk of sudcing this god knowan as jeffery!
As I get into work that day alot of people noticed somethong about, no it wasnt what i was wearing (as i thought), it was unfortunatly my car had broken down and i had to walk a mile, in the rain, in this a very tight dress. I first persumed nothing was wrong as i sat down at my desk, as i look round absolutly everyone is giving me a terrible look of horror upon my body, i even heard someone say what an earths happened to her? I ignorently persumed that they were talking about how wet i was, but come on it was raining! what the fuck do you expect? Ignorant as i was i began work when Jeffery walks over and gives me some crutial information...
''Liz?''
''Oh hello Jeffery, how are you?''
''Oh I'm fine, er i came over to say that...'' he paused for a minute
''yes'' i replied almost immediatly
''Well your dress... has appeared to have srunk...''
The whole office went silent for my reply. I looked down extremely surprised with todays look and he was right. My strappy dress neck line was almost up to my chin! Which ment the bottem of my dress... OH GOD! It was up to my fucking belly button, at which i looked back up and nervously replyed with
''ahh- i-i didn't see that! oh dear!'' i was now shouting i was so mortifed.
I immediatly pulled my dress down to cover my poor exposed nickers, when the wet mess of a dress rips! Making a perfect ring, i was so embarrised by this point i decided to use my long lost sewing skill and make the bottem half in to a very small mini skirt, i pushed my chair into my desk so that no-one would see, the terrible crime against fasion, and public decency for that matter, i decided to call sick 35 minutes after the most mortifying incodent!i got a taxi home as my car decided it wanted to ruin my whole day and make me look like an absolute twat in front of jeffery!.
So to count, Jeffery knows that i send explicit telegrams OVER the phone, and that i had litterally ripped my clothes apart infront of him. Fabulas.
