[Intro song plays, "Meet the Heavy" text appears]
[Pamela and Nicky walk up to the camera in combat gear and place their machine guns on a wooden crate]
Nicky: "G'day there, mates! The name's Nicky. This is my friend, Pamela.
Pamela: Hello!
Nicky: You've probably read about us in the books our teacher wrote. In the Thea Stilton books, we're better known as the members of the Thea Sisters.
Pamela: But as Interpol agents, we're in a team called The Crew lead by Geronimo Stilton, the owner of Mouse Island's most read daily newspaper, The Rodent's Gazette.
Nicky: We're both gunners in The Crew; carrying machine guns and providing supportive fire for the team is our job.
Pamela: And these two... [looks at machine guns] ...are our machine guns. Mine would happen to be... [grabs LSAT LMG] ...this one. It's an LSAT LMG, weighs 4.5 kilograms empty, still in development stages, and costs around three thousand dollars per unit, more or less. It fires one-dollar, caseless 5.56 NATO FMJ cartridges at six hundred fifty rounds a minute.
Nicky: And mine [grabs gun] is the FN M249 SAW. Weighs about seven and a half kilos empty, ten kilos loaded, and fires the same rounds as Pamela's gun at seven hundred rounds a minute. [Stares intently at readers] It costs fourteen hundred US dollars to fire these weapons, for sixty...seconds.
Pamela: Hey Nic, why did the chickens cross the road?
Nicky: I don't know, why?
Pamela: [Smirks] To get to McDonald's at the other side.
Nicky: Pfffttt... BHA HA HA HA HA! Oh-ho-ho, you've got some sense of humor, you know that?
[Camera zooms into] Pamela: [Looks into camera with smug face, raising eyebrow]
[Nicky and Pamela both inspecting their guns until they notice something]
Nicky: What the cheese...? Is that a scratch on the bodywork?!
Pamela: Looks like yours isn't the only one. Got one on mine too.
[Both looking at each other]
Nicky: Alright...
Together: WHO TOUCHED OUR GUNS?!
[Cuts to both of them standing]
Pamela: There are some people who think that they can outsmart us just because we're gunners.
Nicky: We may be gunners, but we're no dumb muscle. We are MUCH smarter than you think.
Pamela: Yeah. But id they still think that we can be outsmarted, then we have yet to meet someone that can outsmart a bullet.
Nicky: [Holds up cartridge to the camera]
[Tybercore - Prepare For War plays]
[Nicky and Pamela devastates the enemies with their machine guns from cover at an airport skirmish]
Pamela: "Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah!
Nicky: Ahahahahaha! KILL THEM ALL!
[Black out]
Nicky: Heheh, "kill them all"...
[Team Fortress 2 ending, flourish music plays]
YOU ARE READING
Geronimo Stilton: INTERPOL - Meet the Gunners
FanfictionA parody of Meat The Heavy from Team Fortress 2's Meet The Team series. Two of The Crew's heavy support gunners Pamela and Nicky introduce themselves as Interpol agents and operatives in the field. All that I can say is; NEVER touch their machine gu...
