stellaR (Editing)

Chapter VII

Chapter- VII

Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.  -Carl W. Buechner

 

     I yanked my gaze away from him, not understanding, and I fought to keep the horror off my face. When I was sure my facial expression was controlled, I looked back to him, to see his gaze studying my face intently.

     I couldn’t believe him, I wouldn’t. There was no way that the Chaud I knew was a murderer. He was sweet, cute, funny, a little quick to anger, and frustrating as all get out, but a murderer? This was too much. He couldn’t ask me to believe this.

     I blinked, and locked eyes with him.

     “Too much?” He quipped, with a weak smile.

     I cleared my throat, “Maybe a little much to start with, don’t you think?”

     He nodded, and laughed nervously.

     “You’re right. Should I start from the beginning?” Chaud asked.

     I nodded, “That’s usually the best place to start a story from.”

     He leaned away from the guard railing, and pulled out a patio chair I hadn’t noticed before. I really was missing the details today.

     I looked down at our entwined hands, noticing his hand was still wrapped in mine. His eyes, which had still been watching my face, looked down at our hands as well. They did fit together pretty perfectly.

     When I looked back up at him, he was smiling, rather bashfully, a look I had only seen him wear once before. I smiled back, and waved our hands up in the air, urging him on.

     He pulled out a chair for me, too, and we sat side by side, overlooking the lake, still holding hands.

     “It was an accident.” He defended himself, after a moment of silence.

     I nodded my head in obvious agreement. I was still here, and I was glad I hadn’t gotten upset and stormed out. I could see this was going to take a lot from Chaud, telling his story. I knew this by the way his thumb kept rubbing over the back of my hand, like he was trying to soothe me. But I wasn’t sure if he was soothing me, or himself.

     “You know I came into my powers on my 12th birthday,”He paused again, probably steadying himself, but I nodded anyway.

     “Well, I had no one to help me with it. I know that you didn’t, for maybe the first day. And wasn’t that confusing? Wasn’t it hard not understanding what was happening to you? Having no one to turn to that can field your questions, without wanting you to have your head examined?” He spoke faster, and I leaned towards him, struggling to keep up.

     He was right, of course. That first day had easily been the most confusing day of my life. I had thought about telling someone, just because I, myself, was freaking out. Looking back, it might have been luck, or it might have been fate, that had me running into Sol. I knew it waslucky    that I dreamt myself into their shadow void.

     Chaud shook his head angrily, “Not that I’m making excuses. What I did was intolerable. Worse, it’s irreversible. No matter how much I ache, beg and plead they’re always gone.” He hung his head, voice resonating with loss.

     I touched the side of his face, at his cheekbone, with one finger gently. “Tell me.” I requested, softly.

     He ran his hands through his hair, pulling the one out of my grasp, frustrated.