Chapter 18: Love trouble and unexpected people

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I sat on my bed, watching the wall without really seeing it.

'They said he liked me...'

'Honey, maybe it's all a misunderstanding.'

'Misunderstanding?! They were practically eating each other's faces!'

'No, they weren't. Don't jump to conclusions, Tenten.'

'This isn't "jumping to conclusions"! I saw them!'

'Tenten...'

'Well, you know what? I don't really care. It's just a crush anyway, and if he's not interested in me, too bad. I've done fine without any form of love for this long, and I'll be just fine in the future, too!'

'You can be such an idiot at times.'

'I don't care! Leave me alone!'

...

...

...

Wow. She actually did as I told her.

I sighed and got up from the bed, starting to pace back and forth in the room. After a moment, though, I suddenly felt I was completely exhausted and I sat down on the window-bench, pulling my knees up to my chest and leaning my elbows against them while hiding my face in my hands.

After a moment of just sitting there I suddenly – to my own shock – felt tears roll down my cheeks.

For some reason this made me mad as hell.

I got up angrily, and kicked the wall with all my might. Then I punched it before I kicked it again.

It continued like that for a while before I slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest again and hiding my face in them, wrapping my arms around my legs. My shoulders shook with silent sobs while I was cursing myself for being so weak.

This is pathetic! Completely, fucking pathetic! Crying just because my crush is making out with another girl probably at this very second! I hate it! I hate myself! ...I HATE HER!'

After a moment I looked up with a tear drenched face, glaring at the wall opposite from me.

Crush"? Oh, who the hell am I kidding?! I love him, god fucking dammit!'

That didn't exactly make it better. I broke into sobs again. I felt even worse than when Takahashi had tried to rape me.

It took me a few minutes to calm down. Then I stopped crying and leaned my head against the wall, taking a few deep breaths.

Okay... Okay, let's think rationally. So, he was kissing another girl. Yeah, that's not nice for me. But, crying sure doesn't help. It never does. So, I'll just handle it coldly and calmly and maturely, and I'll get over him.'

'Or he'll get over her and realize that we're sooo much better.'

'How come, I.T., that when I'm doing something stupid or anything like that, you say "you", but when it's something good, you say "we"?'

'Oh, good, you're back to normal! Okay, now, let's start making up plans on taking Neji back!'

'I can't take him back, I.T., since I've never had him. By the way, I'm kinda tired of these seduction thingies right now.'

'Aww, c'mon!'

'No. Now, if you excuse me, I'm taking a shower.'

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