I sit in the dark
The thoughts come
I break down into tears
I don't know what to do
I start shaking
People say they are there for me
But I know they don't want to be bothered
I start shaking I know what's about to happen
I need to get rid of the pain
I feel like I'm drifting away
I grab the razor that was always close for when the time comes
I run it across my smooth skin
Thoughts run through my head to help me dig deeper
"You worthless slut"Yells the most popular girl in school
"How about you do everyone a favor and die"others laugh not knowing the effect her words have on me
The wound is now wanting to bleed
But I dig deeper
"Hey mistake why are you still here no one likes you"my so called best friend says to me "I liked being your friend at first but than I realized how broken you and weird"her words get to me she knew how long all this stuff at school and how fragile I am that's it she Broke me
I left them all not realizing what I was going to do
The blood has now seeping through
But I go deeper
Deep enough to leave scars
Scars that will remind me everyday
Of how I am a mistake
How I shouldn't be here
How I'm useless
I don't cry
I don't feel pain
I realize this is not enough
And with that though tears come to my eyes
I walk over to my desk
That held so much great memories above but now they are starting to fade
I sit down
And I begin to write
I write to everyone my parents, my brother, my other friends,others I cared about,the people who broke me
I put them all in a nice line so you can see each name clearly
I grab the rope
I grab the chair
I tie the rope
I trow it over the fan
I tighten it making sure I am going to do this right
I grab the razor and starting cutting everywhere leaving no clear skin on my arms
I tied the noose around my neck
I start to having regrets thinking
Maybe someone will care if I leave
But than I realize I am wrong
And I am ready to leave
I lean closer to the edge
Scared what waits for me
I keep thinking can I go to heaven if I kill myself
Now I just don't care
I jump not caring
Feeling free
Feeling happy for once
I finally smile
I forgot how it feels to smile.
