Dear Lame Diary- Love From The Moodiest Teenager Around

This is something that popped into my head a few days ago where I was drinking way too much Pepsi and Sprite when I was super tired that has been cooking around in my head for a few days :p Enjoy DLD :) There's a picture of Kristen as well -->

Vote and comment :)

Kaplina

Note: Some swearing is in this chapter. Just giving the people that don't enjoy swearing a head's up :)

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Dear My Amazing, Most Heartfelt Diary,

..... Eww..... did I just write "amazing" and "heartfelt"??? Yup, I sure did. I don't even know why I'm bothering with writing in you... Oh wait a second, I remember now. Evil step-bitch, woops, I mean Serenity, oops, I mean step-mom thought that it would be a great idea for Dearest Daddy to give me you so that I could release my "stress" and "problems" and become an "upstanding citizen" by writing. *Snorts.* As if that will ever happen. It's not as if I try to find trouble, it is just attracted to me. Sure it might have been my fault that I was sent to the office for placing a snake in the locker that my step-sisters are sharing the other day and had the satisfaction of watching them scream in fright as it fell on evil step-hag's #1 *cough*Tanya*cough* head and ruin her "oh-so-precious-bleach-blond-curled-to-perfection-" hair. When I'm pretty sure that I could probably take a hammer to that hair-do of hers and the hammer would probably shatter from the amount of hair spray that she puts in it. Now don't get me wrong, I usually don't have a problem when girls dress themselves up nice and pretty. But honestly, please, please, try to hold off on the amount of hair spray that you put in. Sure, you want the do to last the entire day but try to just put in a little less or talk to a stylist about different hair sprays and other mousses. It's just like those boys that love to run down the hallways and empty an entire bottle of Axe by spraying it all over themselves and their buddies. Yuck, what a waste of Axe. Seriously, it smells a lot better in smaller amounts.

Now, I know that I'm supposed to be spilling in you about how I feel and pour my feelings into you, blah blah blah, excetera excetera excetera. But honestly, it's not as if Daddy and Step-bitch will care if I write in you for long. Sure I have to show them proof today that I'm writing in you but they won't read this, and if one of them does, they won't give a shit. I'm just a burden to their "perfect little family." All I have to do is wave in front of their faces that I scribbled in some lines and then, they will be satisfied. Whoop-dee-freaking-do, a bunch of scribbles in a book.

Hallelujah! I bet you that I have a better chance of getting a hot piece of man candy called William Mann -yes, I know his last name is Mann, and from what I heard from girls, he sure knows how to his little man quite well- into my bed, which will not be too long as him and his ex-slut just split. Both of them cheated on each other and their egos were badly deflated by the fact that the other one cheated on them they split. But hey, I gotta give the ex-couple a chance to cool off for two weeks until I start making my moves on Will, as I show even a little bit of courtesy to break-ups. Which is hard to believe as I am well known at parties to make out with any guy. But what people don't realise with all of them rumors flying about is that I actually make sure those boys are single. Don't want any psychotic girlfriends after me. Trust me.... they are extremely scary... even when they aren't provoked. Some of them will even threaten you with lighters, scissors, razors, and on the odd occasion lit cigarettes. Those are the grossest. One of my best friends got mixed up into a messy relationship and the next day the crazy girlfriend cornered her with some of her minions and had a cigarette burn on her collar bone. Even if those girls are crazy, they are still stupid to burn a person in an obvious place. It didn't take me too long to find those crazy bags, and cause most of them to change schools. What happened along the lines was me threatening them that if I even heard of a single rumor of them attacking a girl again, especially one of my friends, that they would all be sporting a new hair-style...... or should I say a style without any hair. Having your childhood next-door neighbour being your own personal torturer sure teaches you how to toughen up and intimidate people. The only reason why Step-bitch and her two lovely daughters aren't scared of me is that they'll tattle on me to Daddy and he threatened that the next time I threaten my step-hags my account will be cut off. Definitely. Uncool. He's one of the few people that follows through with their threats too. Heh, I guess there is something that him and I have in common.

Hmm, I guess my hour of being locked in my room is almost up. Yes, my father did lock me in my room. He even took away my iPod, Blackberry, and laptop for the entire hour so that I would spill my heart and soul into you. Best thing that he's going to get in here is a nice slap to the face, if he even reads this and cares. Which is 99.9% not going to happen.

Love From The Moodiest Teenager Around, Kristen Cork

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Kristen, shut her diary with a loud snap, and placed it on her dresser.  Flopping back down on her king sized bed, she glanced over at her alarm clock. 4:59. One more minute and she would be out of her boring room, only to retrieve her phone, iPod, and laptop from her dad. As soon as she got those, she would sneak back up into her room to hide from her step-mom, and two step-sisters that all looked like they stepped out of a magazine. All bleach blond, all with implants. Kristen looked back over to her clock. 5:00 on the dot. Just then she heard the turn of her lock and there her father opened her door. Her eyes shot daggers at him. "Well hello Daddy. I actually was a good girl for once and wrote in this stupid book." She slowly rolled off her bed and walked over to her dresser. Quickly opening her diary she waved it in front of Blake Cork's eyes.

"I see that you finally decided to listen there Kristen. Maybe you will finally think before you act." Kristen rolled her eyes as Mr. Cork was saying this. Sighing she said, "Dad, the only reason why I put a snake in Tanya's and Hailey's locker the other day was because they were being self-righteous biatches to me and my friends." Mr. Cork's jaw tensed, the muscle in his jaw ticking, "You still should not have done that! They are your sisters-"

"Step-sisters," interjected Kristen.

"Fine, step-sisters. But you still should not have done that! And I don't want to hear of you calling them 'biatches' ever again. You are my daughter! Your mother and I have raised you better than that! So, it's time for you to gain some self-control and start behaving like a proper young lady! Do you understand?" Silence met his question, as Kristen's eyes spewed fury in his direction. "Kristen, don't you even dare trying to give me the silent treatment right now. For the last time I'm asking you this, or else I will not be returning your iPod, Blackberry, or laptop! Do. You. Under. Stand?"

"Fine! I understand!" came out Kristen's answer, in a quick and snappy reply. Mr. Cork's eyes darkened as he heard this, "Without the attidue, young lady!"

"Fine, I understand. Now can I please have my Blackberry, iPod, and laptop?"

Rolling his eyes, Mr. Cork handed her electronics. As he was shutting her door he poked his head back in, "Dinners in an hour, so make sure that your down there in time." He then closed the door quietly and walked downstairs into his office.

Oh joy, dinner. This will be fun. Thought Kristen sarcastically. Before flopping back down onto her bed.

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So some 3rd person POV happening for the first time ahahaha. Definitely a very different type of story that I'm writing here, but honestly this is the funnest so far for me :) I'm actually working on chapter two right now. The dinners in the Cork household are not the average joe's type ahahaha. Well vote & comment :) Let me know what you think! :D

Kaplina