Every second I breathe, I feel useless, unwanted and I can't no longer stand that. No matter how hard I try people will always look at me like that way. Like I'm the most useless person on earth, their disgusted faces say it all and all I can think of that goes through their head is why can't you kill you self? Don't you think I have tried that? Don't u think that I hate myself so much that I have tried killing myself? Don't you think that I know I am so ugly? Don't u think that I know I am not enough? The funny thing is people think that the thought is trigger that kills yourself but I have never touched myself. Those thoughts just linger there and scrape your happy thoughts away. I have suicidal thoughts but I could never push myself to pull that trigger of the gun but instead I'm a good person and I pray every single night. Normal and happy people would thank god for what they have and ask more (irony) but as for I, I just ask Him to take me with him and that I could have every single memory of me vanished from every single person that is close to me cause I don't want them to suffer like how i do every fucking second. I am so useless I might as well hold a potted plant to replace the oxygen that I have cause it's a full waste of oxygen and space. I just want someone there to actually
Care about me without feeling pity about it. Not just someone who can listen to me for a day and give advice and block u the next day and ignore your presence and doesn't give a shit about you. But I need someone who can hear my problems whether three in the afternoon or three at midnight. Honesty I had that friend and I was close with him than ever till to the point that I loved him but ever since I left to travel for a month, something was off and we weren't as close as before. Where we use to talk about our day and one crushes and there was always a jealous flame roaring at me but that was it. Now till present day I only have said one, same word to him each day and it kills me that I can't talk to him like before because I miss him so bloody much. I hate keeping so much inside me and I can't no longer keep it inside so that's why I need someone...anyone just to care. It's just a simple thing to ask. Even if you don't care, could u at least pretend to care so I don't have to live in misery?
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Disturbed Thoughts
PoetryI am a human being like no other, yet with a pinch of imperfection, a teaspoon of guilt, and a ocean of salted tears. Often called worthless and cursed to be six feet under. Living in the island of the forgotten lost, I'll tell you my disturbed thou...
