Loving Jason

Chapter ten

DAISY

The feeling of his lips on mine was strange, a foreign feeling that I have never felt before, but instead of feeling out of comfort I felt my body adjust to the feeling, wanting more. My lips felt strange, my waist stranger - where his hands were tightly secured around - and my knees were wobbly. It was strange all in general, probably given that I didn't have much experience. However, my head found it good strange. I was frozen in surprise, and if Jason's hands weren't securely on my waist I swear my knees would have given in.

I so badly wanted to react by kissing him back. In my conscience, I've always known that I wanted to kiss him. Blame it on my initial attraction, or my hormones, but now that I was kissing him I didn't want to stop. Or more like him kissing me, while I stayed frozen and rooted to the spot.

This was wrong; we barely knew each other. I wanted to kiss someone who fancied me rather than doing it just for the sake of a dare, and who I knew for longer than two weeks.

Did I... like Jason? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that he was insanely attractive in every physical way. He had to work on his attitude, and then he could be the perfect one for me.

Even thinking this was giving me a headache.

Why would I even consider him liking me back? It was a long shot.

Jason pulled me even closer and now placed both of his large hands on my lower back. God, what was happening? I didn't feel violated the least bit, but I couldn't let him kiss me when his intentions weren't truly pure.

"Kiss me back." He demanded, surprising me again when he pulled away suddenly. I squeaked in protest, my guarded instincts kicking in.

"I can't. Let go." I ordered, breathlessly. My lips felt a bit thicker than before. More swollen. My first kiss was supposed to be special.

Jason suddenly removed a hand and placed it onto my jaw, proceeding to stroke my cheek. I shivered when his hand touched my face. "Why?"

It was a simple question, but I couldn't form any words to answer.

"Why? I thought you already fucked with more than a few guys. Isn't that right? Is that why you were more than willing to have a 'quickie' with Finn? Are you secretly a little whore, Daisy?" He scowled.

I was for certain rendered speechless after that. My eyes widened and I felt a pang of unknown hurt in my chest. I stared into his cold green eyes.

Why was he suddenly acting like this? I thought we were fine, especially after the events that took place yesterday.

"No." I whispered feebly, feeling my eyes stinging. I balled my hands into small fists, willing myself to not let these stupid tears fall. I couldn't believe I let myself start to trust him when I should have known what kind of person he was from the beginning. He had a real good way of manipulating peoples trust with his words, and then turning against them again. This was the second time he was degrading me in just two days, and I wasnt going to allow it for a second longer.

"Then kiss me back. We have about five minutes."

"No." I denied this time with more anger than fear. Here I considered him a possible friend, but he was no better than the others back 'home'. They were all the same. Selfish, showed no respect, cold, heartless and completely careless. I was disappointed because I started liking Jason. He acted so sweet and caring sometimes in the two weeks that I've known him. How have I trusted him so easily, considering my trust issues? What was wrong with me? I was so careless and stupid.

"Why the fuck not?" He asked, a glare on his face.

I roughly shoved him away. What a futile attempt it was? He did stumble slightly, but not enough to let go.

"Let go of me!" I whisper-yelled angrily.

"No!"

"Now, Jason. What is wrong with you?" I asked in anger.

Something triggered in his eyes, and in a flash he let me go, stepping backwards hastily.

Gosh, what have I said that was so wrong?

Is it bad I feel guilty by the lost look in his eyes? I held my breath, expecting him to yell at me or something.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled quietly.

Wait, what?

"Jason-"

"I'm sorry. I am." He muttered before abruptly walking away.

I stared at his retreating figure absolutely confused. I was supposed to feel relieved, but instead, I felt a weight of sadness on my shoulders. Was something wrong?

I followed Jason after he walked away but couldn't keep up with his long strides. After less than a minute I gave up, knowing that he would want space. With a long sigh, I watched his car drive away. I walked back to my friends when sure he was gone. I noticed his friends - including Finn - giving me questioning looks, but I simply smiled and shrugged.

I walked over to Penny and Mavis who was still part of the truth and dare circle.

"What made him storm off like that?" Penny asked in disbelief.

"I'll tell you later. Can you please take me home?" I asked, my voice wavering. I did not want to be around people after what happened, especially given how they were all gawking at me. It was far from comfortable.

"No problem, let us grab our things." Mavis smiled slightly in understanding, before standing up from her position on the ground. She held out a hand to Penny to help her up.

"Let's go."

My head was leaning against the cool window all the way back to the dorms, listening to the soft music in the background of Mavis' car. I couldn't explain why I was so upset. Perhaps it was because I've known Jason for such a short time but started to trust him. I couldnt understand, why because I had very bad trust issues, and if I was being honest I didn't fully trust Penny and the rest either. It was different with Jason.

Maybe the laugh we had earlier today also helped changed my view on him, only for him to reinforce the same believes that I had of him from before.

I greeted Penny and Mavis goodbye when we separated paths and thanked them for dropping me home. When I reached my door room, I was nervous to enter, afraid that Jason might be in there. I was slightly assured given that his car wasn't in the parking lot, and when I opened the chipping wooden door I was right, he wasn't there.