Renee - "Whoa, whoa. You had a baby with a zombie?"
Bella - "Vampire, mom. Vampire."
Renee - "It's the same thing! They're both dead!"
Bella - "Ma, who cares?! I lived!"
Renee - "Not really!"
Bella - "Well, I'm still here aren't I? And look at Nessie!! Soo cute!"
Renee - "Bella you're daughter is gorgeous, but I hate her."
Bella - "Wha- WHY?"
Renee - "Because she's the result of vampire sperm."
Bella - "MA! Jeez, why have you got to ruin everything!?"
Renee - "Bella, think about it. You had sex with someone who doesnt have any blood pulsing through his body. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!! YOU COULD'VE HAD JACOB'S KID!! IT WOULD'VE BEEN GORGEOUS!!"
Bella - "Ma, stop, Edward can hear you." Renee looks over her shoulder.
Renee - "I don't think so, Bella." Edward is covering himself and Renesmee is sparkles.
Edward - "Look, Nessie! Glitter!"
Renee - "Why, him, Bella?!"
Bella - "Cause he knows how to make love."
Renee - "I bet Jacob does too!"
Bella - "Nahh, and even if he did, can you imagine my child being half dog? Ughh, gross."
Renee - "Bella, you think your daughter being half dog is gross. YOUR CHILD DRINKS BLOOD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! DOESN'T THAT DISGUST YOU?!"
Bella - "Not really. I do too, ma. And besides! Dogs smell TERRIBLE."
Renee - "Bella, you go make love to Jacob RIGHT now."
Bella - "Ma, no. That would be breaking my vows."
Renee - "Just get out of my prescense."
Bella - "Ma, this is my house. You get out of my prescense."
Charlie - "Why must you ladies fight so much? Yes, Bella, you shoudl've chosen Jake, but the kid could've turned out ugly, Renee! But because she chose Edward, we were garunteed a good looking kid!"
Renee - "See, Bella? This is why I divorced your dad. He thought you might turn out ugly because of me."
Bella - "Ma, I look just like you."
Renee - "And there's why he divorced me."
Jacob - "Yeah, c'mon Bella! I know how to have made the kid a boy! Some of the guys showed me some techniques how to get it up there and apparently, if you hit it in certain places, it makes the gender all weird! Isn't that cool!?"
Bella - "See, ma? That's why I chose the good looking guy."
Renee - "Jacob's good looking!"
Bella - "Yeah, but Edward's got the smarts."
Edward - "Nessie! Look out for that cynder block!"
Renee - "Yeah, really smart."
