Prologue

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Is it bad for me to want to live in a fiction book?

A fantasy novel?

A story I can't live and a tale I desire?

Maybe it wasn't, I always believed my story could be on books. About having almost all your life knowing your soul mate but realizing it was too late. It was a cold December morning on a Friday as I got the wedding invitation, I was crushed. Didn't know why at first but as I stared at our old pictures together from diapers - Prom from first job - graduation. I realized that Andrew was my soul mate, my best friend, a person who was made for me and only me.

Love

A simple word yet thousands die for it,

Life

A complicated word yet millions throw it all away for Love.

The different thing about me is that I didn't threw my life all away for love. I threw love away just for my life, why? I am selfish that is and stupid. I kept complaining on people who love a person right when the persons is gone and yet here I am loving the person who was already gone, not dead gone but just gone. Making a life with another person and not me. 

That day that I ran away from Andrew, my best friend my soul mate who has been standing right before my eyes for almost my whole life, was a day I regret with a passion. I wanted to just slam my face onto the ground for running away. Just because I was afraid of my feelings for him. And now that he is gone my feelings grew for him but it was stronger and deeper than I once felt for him. It was that kind of love you'll sacrifice anything for it, that love that you know is true and yet you do nothing to claim it. 

but if I tried was it too late?

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"Congratulations Drew!" I faked a happy voice through the phone hoping he actually believes that I am truly happy for him and Amber. "Thank you Jen! It really means a lot to me, it would also mean a lot if you could come here early so me and you can have a bonding time, I haven't seen your face since college graduation it's like you disappeared and never wanted to see me again" he manly voice echoed on the other line. It was true, I haven't seen him since college graduation because at the end of graduation I have been having these feelings for him and I wanted to ignore it.

Big mistake.

I chuckled and said "Why would you want to see this ugly face?" obviously I had a very low self-esteem. And it was also true I wasn't that good looking, I had brown hair that wasn't straight nor curly it came to my lower back and my dull grey eyes with light freckles spread across my nose and cheeks. Andrew snorted "Jennifer Blair Hawkins, please tell me your self esteem grew along with your hair" I giggled knowing he already knew the answer. I loved Andrew, Andrew Marshall.

He knew me inside out. He knows how many freckles I have- creepy! I know! but he was a sweetie!

He was always the teachers pet which made a few people make fun of him. He was always first honor and the golden boy. And that was the image in my head of Andrew. He was tall and thin, he had dark blonde hair with these amazing blue eyes. but now I had no idea what he looked like, not a picture and not even Facebook could tell me.

All I know was he was successful in his career with a model as a bride-to-be.

Andrew laughed then said "Jen.. please come here tomorrow.. pretty please" his voice sounded like a boy asking for another cookie. I chuckled and said "Fine I'll be there" flatly. As I got up and started getting my bags and clothes. I heard Andrew on the other line cheered a "Yes" then said "Thank you so much Jen! I am so excited can't wait to see you. Love you!" then he hung up the phone.

I was frozen in place, he loved me....

                                                 but only as a best friend. Was I only a best friend to him?

I will update pretty soon. Please comment on what you think and critiques are appreciated. And if you have nothing to say please Vote if you find it interesting. Thank you for reading!

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