Memoirs of an Outlaw: Life in the Sandbox

Chapter 30: Boredom

It seems crazy to say it, but there were times when I would become absolutely bored out of my mind. During patrols, my mind had to be constantly active. Every little bit of my surrounding I had to be aware of. I never knew what lay around the next corner or what surprise may be hidden beneath a rock. I had to scan each and every individual I encountered and quickly assess whether this person posed a threat to me and the rest of my platoon. I would try to memorize patrol routes and keep a mental picture of the surrounding environment so the next day, when we covered the same route, if I noticed anything different, I could instantly determine if it was something to be concerned about. This daily routine kept my brain hyperactive, which was a good thing because I never wanted to become complacent. However, the moment I was able to let my guard down, which usually occurred back at the FOB (forward operating base – Camp Baharia), my brain became like mush, and I’m sure I can say the same for the rest of the Outlaws. Needless to say, when our brains turned to mush and we were able to relax, that was when the boredom set in. And the last thing anyone wants to do is let a Marine get bored. This was most likely why, when we had downtime, the leadership would try to keep us busy with training classes and maintenance schedules. But there was no way they could keep us occupied every second of the day, and that was when stupid things would happen.

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One of the dumbest things I ever did as an individual—because I did a ton of stupid things when I was with a group of buddies—actually happened on a patrol. On this particular day when my stupidity was at an all-time high, our mission was to simply do IED sweeps along several routes. After a couple of hours of doing these patrols, we set up a defensive perimeter a few hundred meters from the nearest road. Once we came to a rest, Staff Sergeant Phelps had my team and me set up a defensive perimeter around the vehicle. I ensured all my scouts were good to go, and then I began to settle into a defensive spot of my own. In the meantime, Lance Corporal Peter Rankin, our new driver, began doing a quick survey of the vehicle to ensure everything was properly running, and Sergeant Mike Honigsberg, the gunner, started scanning the surroundings.

After a few minutes, I started to feel myself get slightly bored staring at a never-ending landscape of sand, so I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette, something that had become more of a habit than an addiction. I pulled out a matchbook from one of the MREs I had eaten, ripped out a match, and quickly struck it against the pack to light it up. A couple of puffs and my cigarette began to ease my nerves. I threw the match to the ground and watched as it fell. That was when I noticed these little black pellets sprinkled in the sand around me. I looked a bit farther out, and the black pellets seemed to be everywhere, surrounding our whole position. Not sure what it was, I picked one up and studied it closely.

This was when I should have started to actually use my brain and not let the curious idiot out of the box. Too late, though. I figured I would try a few science experiments with it. I pulled out another match, lit it up, put the small pellet on the ground, and put the match next to it. Instantaneously, the pellet ignited in a bright white flash, and just as soon as it had lit up, it disappeared. That was fuckin’ cool, I thought. I then realized I had stumbled on a whole lot of gunpowder. And again, rather than decide to call it in, I had to light up some more pellets. It helped kill the boredom, which was all I was concerned about at that time. So I began to walk around and collect a whole bunch of pellets, and I stacked them up into a little pile in front of me. When I was satisfied the small mound of gunpowder was big enough, I lit up another match and threw it onto the pile. It let off a hot, bright light for a bit longer this time, nearly singeing my face, and then went out. I figured I needed to do it just one more time for shits and giggles. So I put together a slightly larger pile and threw yet another match on it. Big mistake.