i found this on my computer, i wrote it along time ago so please tell me what you think
LIFE
Sometimes life isn't fair but that can't be helped so we must keep on living. When life becomes to unbearable I will leave and never come back but I will keep on living and I will never give up because I am who I am and that will never change. Sometimes something incredible happens in life that changes you forever and makes you a better person but that didn't happen in my case, I became a cold blooded monster and I killed many innocent strangers who did nothing to me but I could not help myself form taking their life, I feel so bad about it now that I think about it but what can I do they are gone and can not be brought back. My life seems meaning less but I keep on living because I am more fortunate than others, I'll try and give as much as I can to those that need it. When you died in my in my arms I couldn't breathe because of how much pain I was in, not physical pain but my heart hurt and I wondered why you had to go and not me because I've done so much wrong but you did so much right. I guess I will never understand that we have to go one day but I'm not ready to give up so I'm going to keep on living for you and you only. I will never forget you and what joy you bought with you hen we met. I still love you no matter what we have been through because I was with you all that time and you will always be in my heart for it is only for you.
People think that I am crazy because I don't fear death. I under stand what they mean but if I don't fear death then I will never be able to be with you and that is why people think I am mad because I am in love with a monster but what they don't understand is that I am a monster too. They could chase us with pitched fork and torches but I will never leave you side even when you die I will follow shortly afterwards just o that I could be with you till the end of time. my heart will always be yours even if you don't want it, it will still be your's.
Home is where the heart is and since you left your's with me you better claim it before it becomes history. Nothing is left, forward, right or backwards but that does not mean it is wrong to love who want and who we trust even if it the wrong person we still have the right to love.
I get this feeling when you are around me, it's a feeling I can't explain it's sort like a burst of adrenaline but more extreme and It is coming from my chest like my heart has been ripped from my body and has been walked on by everyone who has ever loved someone in this world. No one has ever made me feel like this and yet I have a feeling that no one will ever love me or make me feel like that in my life time or the next couple of thousands of years because I a heartless monster who can never love or be loved . Sometimes I don't believe that I should ever existed because I don't belong any were not even In my own home, I'm an out cast and I should never been born to such a cruel world but I keep on living and I put up with these things so I don't need to be strong as long as I have got my family even though I am an out cast there they still take care of and I them. But when it becomes to much I'm pretty sure that I will be able to leave with out a fight or second thought because I have a one track mind, it is always this or that but never both.
