Heartbreaker

I flip through the last remaining photos, each one holding a dear memory I'd never forget.

The one I gaze upon is brightly flashing at me. Matty's red cap, my blue jean overalls that I wore everyday, and the huge grins that hung on our faces that burn my brain so deeply it'd never leave sight.

I'm pulled into the scene, I roam through the vast field of grass, plucking a flower along the way and run over to Matty because it smelt so good. It was a bluebonnet, I remember because Matty always hated those flowers, but I loved them. Their color, aroma, and shape. The way it felt when I ran my finger across the soft waxy petals. Matty cringes, "Get that away, Sophie!" His little voice exclaims as he backs up, almost tripping over himself, and runs toward the house. I giggle, following after him as my mom peers out the door and smiles softly when she sees us. "How cute. Let me take a picture." She notifies as she disappears through the door and pops right back out with a Polaroid camera, telling me and Matty to pose together as we charge at each other in front of the camera, our pose is me sticking a flower up his nose while hes trying to smile so he looked like a horse that was scared out of its mind.

I chuckle, turning to the next one, seeing the most depressing photo yet.

Matty's funeral.

Why do we have a picture of his funeral? This is so sick and cruel as they day I was there myself. Tears cling to my eyes as anger boils through me. How could they take a picture at a funeral? You don't do that!

I fling the pictures to the ground, making them scatter every which way and grab my bag, heading out the doorway and make sure to slam it on the way out.

The first day back to school. Most would be nervous, excited, dying to see their friends and loves. I would be too, but now I feel dreadful, hateful towards the school and my parents for making me go when it hadn't of been even a month since Matty's death. Apparently it would be 'good' for me to reconnect with my friends and start the school year good to get my mind off of Matty, but the truth is I don't want to be anywhere but in my room staring at our childhood photos and occasionally eat when I'm hungry. But as soon as I figured that was never going to happen I donated my wardrobe and made a whole three-sixty, indulged at Victoria's Secret, lingerie and all galore, and got myself the most enticing clothes since the last catalog from Victoria's.

Today I was going to show everyone that Sophie Lauren is not to be played with, and I am going to grab so many hearts and crush them all to bits. No, I haven't lost all my marbles, I know exactly what I'm doing and how I'm going to go along doing it. I may have some puzzle pieces off to the side waiting to be placed that is Sophie Lauren's life, but expecting it to be filled by someone that couldn't anymore, I guess I'll just scatter everyone else's pieces so they can taste the medicine I've been having to down.

My intentions have never been clearer than a freshly made window.

I slump into my car and move the mirror towards my own face.

All I see is a stranger looking at me. I am very well aware that it is me, but its so different from my usual attire that I would have. The dark, smokey eyeshadow extenuates my hazel eyes with the black eyeliner ending with a fierce cat tail. My bright pink lips are plump and pouting, my whole entire face is screaming to the male population that their girlfriends are nothing compared to me, even though my conscience is yelling that I wouldn't want to put that out there, but I shake it off. My conscience means nothing to me anymore, either do it right then whenever the times right without a second thought; just doing it, that's my only mindset I need.

 While I drive I keep glancing down at my clothes. Tight black leather skinnies with a very fitting sequin top and to top it off, some spicy red pumps. Its so different. A neighbor to the stranger that is my face.