Cold Summer

Chapter Three

Kansas

Charlie

We're on the bus that's taking us to the nearest airport. Mom has everything planned. She rented a house, by the beach she says, has a breathtaking view, is how she put it. I don't mind going for all the summer to be honest, but there's this conflict inside of me that has two very contradicting sides. I want to have all the fun I can with my friends before they all leave, yet I don't want to have to be around them and be reminded that we're so sticky at the time just because we'll all be separated in three months time. Another part of me wants to have a nice family vacation by the beach where I can get a tan and draw by the beach or read or at least have a little fun with my sisters, we haven't been so close and I think we're growing more and more apart by the second. I think each one of us is living in her own world. I even think the twins are growing apart, and they're twins, they're supposed to stick together, to never grow apart, to have same interests, but Gen and Leslie are not the normal kind of twins. Gen and Leslie are from two different planets. If Gen says black then Leslie says white. They are different but they used to be close, I think they're not the same because of the way Gen acts.

Gens' pretty tough and somewhat dark, but every once in a while we find Gen wearing a different type of clothes, with different make up, but her words stay the same, her actions change by the second though. Mom once thought Gen was schizophrenic, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but that's how our mom is. She worries too much. I normally act like I understand and know Gen well, but that's not true, I don't think anyone understands Gen besides her weird boyfriend. Jason, her boyfriend, is a nice guy, has a philosopher's tongue and stoner's mind. He thinks about very rare stuff to think of. Like he once left Gen wondering in seventh grade about "Who survives the world? a) the smart b) the strong c) the quiet" and I guess he didn't mean to leave her wondering, he's been her friend ever since fifth grade and I guess he was speaking his mind, that's all. He's always had a blunt mind and mouth around Gen, yet I came to realize his mind is much older than his age.

Leslie on the other hand, is a bit lonely, she has a limited range of friends, who I guess are just her colleagues or something. I don't understand what they are to be honest, I know she likes her own company and likes to be in a peaceful place where she can shut her eyes any moment and wonder and imagine and create little events in her mind or just sit around singing without anyone interrupting or singing along with her. She's the kind of girl who knows exactly what she wants, but isn't making the slightest effort in that direction. I don't know why, I think she may have a plan in mind, or I think she's walking her own road even right now on this bus, she might be walking her own road, maybe she's too peaceful her plans don't have the power to disturb anyone else's.

That much I know about my sisters. About myself though? I don't think anyone knows who they are, I think you have expectations of yourself, I think you have high hopes of who you are and who you might be. I think you only know who you would like to be, but not who you are. It's very hard and complicated trying to understand yourself, but then why is it so easy to understand another's?

Mom's asleep now and the moment her eyelids shut, Gen got out her pack and lighter.

"Will you stop it?" I demand more than ask

"What?" still the very calm voice

"You waited till she slept so you can smoke, put it off" she didn't reply, she took one slow glance at me and then turned away, looking at the road, staring at the window, she continued smoking, breathing in and out. I look carefully at the cigarette she's smoking the letters JJ were written at the back of it, before the silver line it had. JJ is Jason's name in Gen's head. I don't know why exactly she calls him that, but it is what it is.