XV - Alone

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 Juno was alone when she awoke.

 There was no real sign that he had been there at all, even though it was clearly not a dream. She felt miserable, wondering why he had left her. She thought about how contented she had been when she had gone to sleep. For a small moment, everything seemed to be going right for the two of them, yet she had been left alone at some point in the night.

She knew it was foolish to be attached, to think that things could have been alright when she awoke. She knew perfectly well that she was leaving soon and it didn't matter if he had stayed the night. There was not a chance that she and Percy would be able to work out.

Yet, she felt like crying.

She couldn't explain why it hurt her so much. It had been such an intimate moment between the two of them, yet she was left to feel disposable afterward. That it didn't matter to him that he had been with her, that their bond could never be the same after last night.

Juno wished that the chance for her to leave happened so much sooner. After all of this time, thinking that Percy was opening up to her. That he wasn't like the other people in this abysmal little pack, that maybe he actually cared. Yet, why wasn't he here? Had he softened her up just to use her?

If that had been the case, why had he been so gentle the night before? At the moment, everything had felt so right. Juno had felt so at ease in his arms and allowed the nature of their bond to take its course.

Now? She had to pretend that it didn't bother her and make her way through the day as if nothing had happened. Firstly, she had to pull herself out of bed, but the fact that the only thing she wore was the pile of blankets atop her, she was not ready to face the coldness of her little cabin.

~

In the last week of the semester, Juno was able to pretend that things were fine. That what had happened the night of her birthday had never happened. She was so focused on her final projects and exams that nothing else had a chance to even matter.

She spent her days studying, staying warm, and resting as much as she could.

 She had stopped taking the forest route between the cabin and her bus stop, not wanting to be bothered by any wolves. She did not allow herself any walks through the woods, not wanting to risk seeing Percy. After that night, the fact that he was gone in the morning, and knowing that she would be leaving soon, Juno couldn't imagine having anything to say to him.

The days were short, the nights were long. She found peace in her cabin. A place that had been made just for her, although not in good faith. Yet, this was her home, a place that she did not have to share with anyone.

It was as if the last straw had been pulled, Juno desperately wanted to leave. There was nothing for her here anymore. She had been able to fool herself recently, thinking that perhaps Percy had actually cared for her, that he wasn't simply leading her on. Not that it made too much sense as to why he would do that. That would have been a lot of unnecessary effort on his part. Still, he made her feel like something to be used.

Juno's inner dialogue was cruel to her, not allowing her to simply exist. 

She still wondered if Percy still had his girlfriend. She wasn't entirely sure what her name was, just knew that she was an incredibly attractive blonde woman. They had a healthy sex life, up until recently. He had promised that he would stop cheating on their bond after learning how it hurt her. To his credit, Percy had been truthful, there had been no more pain since that night in the hospital. That didn't mean he had ended things with her. Of course, why would he actually want to be with Juno when he already had a perfect woman?

She knew better than to think like that. Speculating on such matters was only going to make her feel so much worse. Juno knew that she did not need to make herself feel even more terrible, but when it rains it pours.

A letter arrived for her on Thursday, allowing her a reprieve from the thoughts inside her head. It had been a full week since her night with Percy, and her semester only had one more day for her. Before she even opened it, Juno knew what the contents of the letter would be. She had never sent a reply to Imogen, so it was clear that this would be the one to have the travel details. She could only hope that things were going to be sooner rather than later.



As promised, the final travel arrangements have been made for your move to Kingston. Technically speaking, you will be joining the New York pack under Alpha Marcus Reginald. Your ties to the association mean that you do not have to interact with the main shifter population if you do not want to. Elizabeth Verdansky has already forwarded all of the necessary legal paperwork for you to ensure a seamless transition for you.

As for the person who will be meeting you in Washington. Her name is Margot Kingston, she is one of my very close friends, and as promised, someone that I fully believe is going to be a welcome person for you. She is usually doing work with the Crisis Response Unit (which is something you can ask her about when she arrives) but has volunteered to meet you in Washington.

Margot is set to arrive at the airport in Seattle on Saturday, December 17, around 11 am. From there, the trip from Seattle to Baring is approximately an hour and a half. The flight to New York leaves at 9 pm and is set to arrive the next morning at 8. Keep in mind that winter weather conditions can affect these times as well as other issues with the airlines.

Elizabeth Verdansky has arranged for Margot to arrive at her home, believing it to be a welcome place for the two of you to meet. It is clear that she cares a lot about you and I am glad you could have someone like that even in your situation.

I hope to see you soon, I hope your flight goes well, and I hope that your transition to Kingston will be a good experience.

Take care,

Imogen Archibald



There were less than 48 hours between the time Juno was reading the letter to when this Margot was set to arrive. Suddenly it felt so real, no longer a giant 'what if?' that had plagued her for the past couple of months. She was glad to be leaving, she felt as though there wasn't all that much left for her here.

She wondered what it would be like, how things would be changing for her. Of course, she wouldn't be surrounded by people who wanted to do her harm. She wouldn't have to face the uncertainty of the relationship she had with Percy.

Juno wondered what else could change for her. She didn't particularly want to continue in public school. Not after the abuse from her peers and lack of quality education from her teachers. She wondered if she would be able to make friends, to find people who liked her as she was?

She wanted a chance to feel normal, to know that she wasn't inherently unlovable. Juno wanted a chance to be someone else. To do away with the sadness and pain that haunted her. She wanted to experience the joys and happiness in life. She wondered if there would be a chance to find herself, to know that somewhere out there is a place where she could be truly happy in.

She couldn't help but think that maybe she was doing the wrong thing. Juno couldn't help but think that she was wrong for wanting to leave Percy, to throw away any progress that they had made. To think that her life would be better without her mate.

But it was true. She would be better off without him. Juno needed a chance to focus on herself and have a chance to be her own person. She knew that staying here in hopes that maybe one day her soulmate would want her would not be healthy for her. There was so much healing that she needed to do, something that she and Percy wouldn't have the first clue of what to do. She needed real help, from people who really wanted her to succeed. The best thing for her would be to leave this place. Washington was never going to be a place where she could be happy. There was too much pain here, something that she was tired of experiencing.

It's not like Percy didn't do his fair share of running away from their relationship anyways. 

~

1540 words. Published 1.16.2023. Edited 12.23.2023

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