The Scrubs Thief
Nobody every suspected Irving McGuire, why would they? Everyone saw him as just a normal guy with a beautiful wife, three darling children. But Irving has a dark secret, one that will rock the surgery center and put everyone in peril. He is…THE SCRUBS THIEF!
Monday:
“Hey, Irving. How was your weekend?”
“Too short.”
“Aren’t they all? Ha ha, oh, by the way, don’t expect any large scrubs to be in the locker room. We’re out again.”
“Seems like we always are.”
“I know right? Well, I’ll be downstairs washing my hands. See you down there.”
“Yea, I’ll be down there…shortly.”
Irving sips his coffee as he walks, the coffee steaming and mixed with half of a hot chocolate packet that was sitting by the sugar packets. He finishes his morning energy and tosses the cup into the “Recycle” section of the garbage. Then, making his way to the locker room he hums a tune, an eerie tune.
“All of them, I’ll wear them in public…people will think highly of me. I’ll give some to my children for pajamas…they will love me for it. I’ll give some pairs to my wife…she’ll say they’re so comfortable.”
“What?”
“Who’s there?”
“Just me, Rick.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know someone was using the bathroom.”
“It’s cool. So, borrowing some scrubs it sounds like?”
“No.”
“Sure sounded like you said you were…”
“You heard nothing…”
Irving slides a pair of Medium Bottoms under the stall door.
“Let’s let this be our little secret,” says Irving as he stuffs his arms with bundles of scrubs.
“Um, sure…”
Monday Evening:
“New pajamas! Thank you, Irving!”
“Call me Dad please.”
“But…” Lilly gives the sad ‘puppy dog’ eyes.
“Why are you giving these to me?” asks his wife of almost two years.
“Something comfortable to wear while you coo…co-work…with the vacuum.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re excused…I’ll be in my office.”
Irving heads to his home office, where he plays video games until six pm when his children come running in to tell him that dinner is ready. He finds his wife setting the table with red sauce stains on her new scrubs.
“This looks delicious. What, um, what is it?”
“Tater-tots and peanuts, covered in red pasta sauce.”
“Very exotic,” he mumbles with a mouth-full.
“Ryan, stop eating off my plate!”
“But you got more than me!”
“Mom, Ethel smells! Ryan, stop it!”
“Ryan, stop touching Lilly’s food! And Irving, it’s your turn to change Ethel.”
