Chapter 18

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As some of you may know my computer sucks. Like for realzies it sucks. So I had chapter 18 finished and done and me being stupid didn't take breaks and save it so basically my computer froze and I lost all of it. So now here is the less awesome chapter 18...

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I woke up to a dark sky. For a minute I was confused. How did I get up here? I thought back to the night before and everything came back to me the crying then coming up here and falling asleep. I ignored the emptiness inside me and how broken I felt and instead focused on how the hell I fell asleep on a roof. 

I stood up wiping the little rocks that clung onto my clothing. I slowly made my way down, not fully awake yet. I walk to the edge of the roof and see the pool. What if I jump into the pool? It would wake me up. I thought about the pros and cons of jumping into the pool. Pros, I would be awake, I would get to go swimming, it would be an awesome story. Cons, I could hit the concrete and die. Well looks like pros win. 

I backed up to the top of the roof. "YOLO!" I screamed as I ran and jumped heading for the pool. I closed my eyes preparing to either be dead or to hit the icy water. Lucky for me I was enveloped in water instead of the ground. I sank to the bottom then pushed up. I came to the surface and shook my hair out of my face. "That was fun" I said to myself. I strangely found myself wanting to do that again. 

"Avalon! What in the name of god are you doing?" I see Julie poke her head out the window. Her hair was messy and she looked like a mess. "Well I fell asleep on the roof and decided to jump into the pool" I said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I see Blake wrap his arms around Julia and whisper something in her ear. She turns around and playfully slaps him then turns back to me. "I'll see you in 10 wait in there for me!" She said and closed her window. I swam over to the steps and sat there. 

I can't help but be jealous at Jules and everyone else. They were so happy with there Mates and here I was with mine. not even talking to him. I rejected him and now my mark was fading away. I was sad to see it go it was very beautiful. i touched my hand to my face and felt tears. Why was I sad? All Dylan's done is hurt me. It's not my fault he called me a slut, a liar and cheated on me. It was his. 

I was so lost in my self pity that I didn't notice Jules and Blake were with me untill they both yelled cannon ball and jumped in. I laughed as Jules yelled at him for making a bigger splash than her. "He only made a bigger splash cause he's fat" I said trying hard not to laugh. Blake scowled at me and Jules did a once over at him. "She's right? have you trained at all?" He sighs and puts a hand through his wet hair. "No, Dylan was to out of it to even show up" I shook my head. 

"I'm here now. What time is it?" "4 am" Jules said casually swimming. I had to admit I wasn't all thta shocked I woke up this early. I woke up this early to go for runs in Jacksonville. "I train you guys today you know" Blake nodded. "I'm going to laugh at Drakes face" Said Jules who was now sitting next to me. Drake. Where have I heard that name before. As if Blake could read my mind  he gave me an answer. "He's the pack warrior, He's Dylan's Dad's Cousin" "Wow" I said. 

"No one's going to be happy about a girl teaching training" "That's being sexist and discriminating" I exclaimed jumping out of the pool. "Yea well the girls don't help there case it's like they enjoy acting weak" I scoff athe towels that were always hanging by the pool. "I'll make it my personal mission to show these girls that they are stronger" I said already devising  a plan in my head. "Good luck with that. Most are like Stacy" I scowled and looked at Jules. "What happened to Amanda and Trinity? Last I remember they were normal" "Yea well most of the girls in the pack despite how they appeared on the outside looked up to you. You showed them that you are more than what everyone tells you, you are you gave them hope. When you left they thought you gave up trying to be strong and independent so they did to"  

I was beyond shocked at what just came out of Jules mouth. "No one looks up to me. But I will never stop giving people hope." I said as I looked at the ground. I didn't wait for a reply nor did I hear one because I chose that moment to Walk into the house. I ignore the stares from other pack members that were up and walked straight to my room. It gave off a soothing glow that made me feel safe. I looked out the window and saw the sun start to rise. I sighed processing the information Julia just gave me.  

Was I really that much of an inspiration? Did people actually look up to me? I slipped off my wet clothes and put on my work out clothes. I wrapped my hair up with the towel then stood up looking in the mirror. I wasn't beautiful heck I wasn't even pretty. I'm not someone that inspires people or someone who is strong. I'm just me. Sure I was pack warrior back in North Carolina but here I was still known as a weak slut. 

That'll change. Star said in my mind. She was angry at me sure. She hated it though when people called her weak. We never fight in wolf form unless absoulutly nesscary. To us its a sign a weakness basically saying that we can't fight in human form so I'm going to let my animal instincts take over. 

I finally tore myself away from the mirror and headed down stairs. I ignored the stares from other pack members once again. I knew every single one of them. I didn't know if they knew me though so I kept silent. There was one girl though who studied me like I was a picture. I ignored it but after 10 minutes she kept staring. I finally put the spoon that currently held my cinnamon toast crunch down and looked at her. "I'm not a fucking picture stop staring". She blushed and I heard a growl from the red head kid next to her.

Why does everyone have to be mated in this pack? I groaned and continued to eat my breakfast. Training. Everyone but people 60+ show even pups. I saw everyone groan and make there way up tot there room to get changed. I however stayed down stairs. I wonder if they know I'm ttraing them. Probably not. I see the girl who was staring at me earlier. "Hi. I'm Linsey, sorry I didn't mean to annoy you. You just look like someone I used to know" Knowing she was talking about me I decided to paly along. 

"Who was she?" "She was the most amazing person in the world. She was strong. Her mate rejected her and thats never easy but she stood day after day watching him with othe girls and even when he teased her to the point when she was basically a puddle at his feet. She didn't run though. Never ran she stood strong ignoring the rumors about her. I looked up to her. Most of the girls did wanting to be strong. We even started training ourselves each night. Then she left a while back. We lost hope. She was the one who inspired us and when she lost hope and ran away we lost hope" Know I didn't think Jules was lying when she said some people looked up to me but I didn't know I was this important.   

"People have to run sometimes" My voice said sounding a little shaky. She sighed. "I know she couldn't be strong forever but it was sudden. Out of no where she stopped showing up at school. The Alpha was a mess. We lost all hope for us and this pack when she left. She made this pack strong but she also made it weak" "I never met too do that" I said tears falling down my cheeck. "You? You didn't do that Avalon Savvy did" I looked at her tears in my eyes. "Hello Linsey, My name is Avalon Savvy" She didn't even try to hide her shock when I spoke the words.

What happened next though hurt the most. 

She ran.

At that exact moment I made a vow with myself. I would stand tall and be strong. I wouldn't waste my tears on myself, Dylan or anyone who doesn't deserve them. If people view me as some strong person who fills them with hope I will be just that.

Strong and filled with hope. 

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