Before We Say Goodbye

Chapter Thirteen: Figure Skating is for Girls

Chapter 13 - Sophie

So many unanswered questions float around my head.

The most common one is, why do I like Damon so much?

It’s closely followed by, why can’t I stop obsessing over him?

Because, well, why?

I’ve barely known him, what, three days? And yet, I feel like I’ve known him forever. I feel like we’re that close. I cross my fingers absently. It’s not right that I’ve taken such a strong, sudden liking to him. It’s not right that his opinion means so much to him.

I have a theory, though. It’s because he’s the only person who doesn’t know about me having cancer. He’s the only person who treats me normally. That’ll be it.

I’m going to get to know him. And when I get to know him, I’m going to tell him the truth.

“I’ve got cancer,” I say to myself.

This is it. It’s real now. I’ve said it out loud and there’s no denying it. No more forgetting to take my medicine. No more letting people believe that I’m just fine.

No more of it.

I smile to myself, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling. They used to scare me when we first moved in. I thought the ceiling would cave in. But so far it hasn’t, and I doubt it will. Not in my lifetime.

Ugh. Stop thinking thoughts like that, Sophie!

I give myself a mental slap.

I’m such an idiot. I need to change my mind set.

Remember the days when thinking of Angelina Ballerina was enough to stop your nightmares scaring you?

I grin. I used to love that little cartoon mouse so much!

In fact…

I haul myself off my bed and cross over to my bookshelf, scanning the spines of all the different books. There it is!

I pull out the thin, flimsy copy of my favourite Angelina Ballerina book, the one I could never bring myself to throw out. I think I was seven when Gramps got this for me. It was wrapped up in silver tissue paper and –

The doorbell’s ringing! The doorbell’s ringing!

I jump up from the sofa and run as fast as I can to the door, twisting the knob and pulling it open.

“Surprise!” Gramps and Nan call out.

I giggle, pretending to be shocked. I knew they were coming, but they don’t need to know that.

Gramps leads Nan in, and he closes the door behind them. Nan walks past me, into the living room, saying hello to Mammy and Daddy.

Gramps kneels down in front of me, pulling something out of the Tesco’s bag lying at his feet.

A long, thin, cuboid package wrapped up in thin silver paper is taken out, which he hands to me, grinning.

“This is for you, Sophie,” he says.

I beam. “Why, Gramps?”

“Because you’re a very special girl.”

I rip off the paper, smiling widely the whole time. A pristine, brand new copy of Angelina and Alice falls to the floor.

“Gramps! I love you!”

I throw my arms around his neck.

Mammy comes out to say hello to Gramps, and picks the book up from the floor.