Dear diary, I'm dead. -ON HOLD/REWRITING-

Chapter 1: It's not like we killed her.

Isabelle's P.O.V

My alarm went off signaling it was time to wake up for another day at hell.
I got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom, while taking my shower I started thinking of other girls at my school, the way they dress is so gaudy and they actually are either nerds or sluts..I'm happy to be who I am, simply perfect.

As I stepped in my room, the huge mirror there caught my eye.. 

"Mom!" 

"Yes, sweetheart!" my mom opened my room's door that revealed her tall figure standing outside my room. 

"Who drew with my lipstick on the mirror like that?" I asked, trying to be as calm as I could. 

"Uhh, honey..it surely is Ella.." my mom stated nervously. I didn't know why she was nervous, but maybe she didn't want me and my sister to..like..have a fall out..? Maybe!

Ella was my 4 year old sister. She went to pre school and was a trouble-maker, it kinda drove me to always shouting at her when my parents were not home and then threatening her that if she said anything to them she'd get hit by me. What? I was just raising a child! Once she was born, my parents cared about her that they didn't have time for me, although I am and always will be the number 1..so this was some kind of..revenge?

"awh, it's okay mom..she's just a baby after all..!" I said softly trying not to lose my temper, trying not to say any offensive thing towards my sister in front of my mom. 

"But..I'm getting more makeup and a new mirror right..?" 

"Sure thing, darling!" My mom said in a proud tone.

See? that's how it went, yes, I spoilt..and it was fun! People are weird anyways, I never hurt anyone by my words unless they deserved it..and to be honest, everyone deserved it! No one was perfect..

My outfit for the day was skinny light blue jeans, an off white sweater and a pair of matching heels. After putting that on, I moved to my then 'full of lipstick' mirror to apply some makeup. I ended applying mascara, a little blush and a very light colored pink lipstick. Then I just left my hair down, in it's natural brown wavy locks.
Taking one final look at myself in the mirror, I was ready. Completely flawless. Prettier than any other girl at school and maybe in town, I suppose.  

I grabbed my school bag that was full of useless books and added some stuff to it. I was ready for another day at a pointless place with some pointless people..I surely knew how to make it a bit fun, though!

*2 hours later* 

"Meet up after your geography class?" asked Rachel in her annoying british accent. 

"Yeah yeah whatever.." I said walking off to my exciting class -Note sarcasm- 

Rachel was my best friend, she was British and had moved to Canada about 3 years ago due to her parents' desire of having a bit of 'change' as they think UK became boring and crowded lately..She was short, I don't really know how exactly tall she was but she was definitely short, she had medium dark hair and brown eyes. In my opinion she looked..okay. We met when I was in the school bathroom applying some makeup and fixing my hair and she told me I looked pretty, I surely knew I did but I thanked her coldly..not really showing any interest but she kept talking to me and things just developed from there, and I found out she was rich and was into nearly the same things I was and we kinda got along.

Walking to my class, I saw someone standing there. Taking her books out of her locker..looking pretty good..perfectly styled blonde hair with pink hightlights in the end, sprakling blue eyes, stunning body...Amanda Mathers.  

Oh, she's finally back from New York! 

She was one of my best friends. We were really close, she was like a sister to me. Rachel can never replace her, no one can ever replace her. Even now, I still wanted to talk to her and spend time with her, but I couldn't. 

We usually just strolled around the school and like..judged people..? Not 'judged' nor 'bullied', just kinda had fun. We used to always make fun of that girl called Emily Evans. We used to tell her she was not fit, that her hair was a mess, that she was stupid and nobody liked her..and one day the whole school was talking about her, she commit suicide. 

Amanda's words then were
"Now, me and you are killers. Bullies are killers, they kill..without noticing, she might have killed herself but it was us who killed her in absentia. Bullies kill in absentia. We are bullies, we are killers, Isabelle." 
I also remembered her sobbing whilst letting those words come out of her mouth. I never thought she'd say this, never thought she'd care about Emily anyways..I mean..I didn't actually care, I was not a bully, Emily obviously couldn't take a joke, not my fault! 

Since then, Amanda travelled to the US and decided that she'd never talk to me again because, I never listened to her and continued to make fun of people. People are really weird, why would she care about their feelings? I was just expressing my opinion honestly, but according to Amy I was rude. 

When she told me we could not be friends anymore, I felt like crying but I didn't cry, nope..I don't cry over people. It's her loss, not mine. I'm better than her anyways! Still she was beautiful, she was amazing. I loved her..But she didn't love me, so why should I care about her? I didn't even know why I was still thinking of my ex-best friend, whom never thought of me..instead she thought of the feelings of someone that was dead. DEAD!

"Excuse me, Miss Roberts.." I heard an unfamiliar voice behind me taking me back to reality. 

I turned around to see a short blonde girl holding her books, she looked a bit younger than me..I eyed her from head to toe. Wow! I can tell she's annoying, already.

"What do you want?" 

"I wanna get into my class, if you please..you're standing in my way, turn around and you'll find that you're standing in front of the door.." She said rudely, pointing at the door behind me. How did she dare talk to me like that? Did she realize she was talking to ME? 

"Babe, why do you need to get in class anyways? Do you think you'd get an A or so? Grow up, go home and keep shoving food into your mouth..oh wait, you're already fat..sorry! maybe you should go work out." I stated loudly. She totally deserved it. She raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.  

"I heard you're rude but never knew you can be THAT rude!"  

"Well..surprise!!" I said simply before pushing her to the side and walking to my class, still for a reason..thinking of Amanda. Her words just kept replaying in my mind.  

Wait..Why did I really care? It's been years, Isabelle..get over her. Get over it!
I was no bully nor killer, she was overreacting. Yeah, overreacting..the girl killed herself, it's not like we killed her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: So Isabelle always focuses on and describes how people look because that's all what she cares about, you know..looks!  It's indirect characterization here. :)
I hope you liked this chapter..not the best start, I know but yeah.. 
IT WILL GET BETTER, BARE WITH ME KBYE!x