The Man Of My Nightmares (Septiplier) **DISCONTINUED**

Beads

"So, if you don't mind me asking, can you explain again how you found out about what Mark was doing?" The psychologist spoke after a quick greeting.
"Well he never mentioned it and I didn't want to assume thi-" Mark cut me off.
"Well, I guess it would be my turn since you talked yesterday."
"Okay, so what do you remember?"
"I invited Jack to my house and I'd given him a free pass to come whenever he wanted"

***

Jack sat on my bed watching me frantically search for Xbox controllers. "Y'know, I'm not the best gamer, I just watch."
"But it's fun to mess up in front of friends." I said just as I grabbed a controller from under a pile of papers. And another. I switched on Trials Fusion. "What's this?" His accent made my ears go red and the way he cocked his head made me chuckle slightly. "This is Trials, you race on motorcycles and do tricks. Right trigger to accelerate, left stick to lean and right stick to do cool shit." I instructed him, moving his hands for him. If only he knew how much he reminded me of Zack. How I wanted him so. But we're friends, if he wants to keep it that way, we will. He probably doesn't even like men. As I went to sit next to Jack, I saw the glint of a steel sharpener blade sitting near my pillow. I hoped to God he didn't see it and tucked it away.

After about an hour, we got some food from my lovely mother and jack asked to stay the night. Of course she agreed, she thought I was straight as a ramp. Jack had agreed to stay in my room since we had limited space. I don't even remember what happened after that, but I know I stayed up late, after Jack fell asleep. He was so goddamn cute. When I knew he was fully sleeping, I may have palmed him through the blanket, and he smiled. I didn't do much else before laying in my bed half-trying to fall asleep myself. I was wearing a tank top and shorts since it was hot and I figured Jack wouldn't mind the memories I wore on my arms. I mean, he would understand.

After closing my eyes to fall asleep, I had a scary thought: I am going to lose this man if I don't help him. But I just couldn't. I was terrible at helping people, I always made it worse. I thought how he was so similar to Zack, but dare I say it, he was better. He was everything. But someday soon, he'll be gone. When I promised to keep others happy, I didn't realize it meant I would forget to keep myself happy. Well, no. I am happy, just not to the same degree. Nothing is the same, it never will be. I continued my spiral until I formed a small wet spot on my pillow and I grabbed the blade I hid. Just a little bit couldn't hurt anyone, right? I smirked slightly and brought the blade to my wrist, clenching tightly.

One.
Useless shit
Two.
Fucking whore
Three.
Unlovable
Four.
Dirty liar
Five.
Left by everyone
Six.
Friend of bullies
Seven.
Blood
Eight.
Intoxicating
Nine.
Drip drop
Ten.
More...

After an eternity of forcing myself back into reality and slipping into my masochism, I saw Jack flinch. He ran his fingers along his forehead and saw blood. Before getting up and wiping it off, he realized just where he was. Sean sincerely apologized with tired eyes. But when those eyes adjusted to the darkness, he was speechless.

Trying to lighten the mood, he said awkwardly, "I think your ceiling is leaking blood." I could tell he was upset. Fully awake, he stared at the scarlet beads spread across my arm, slowly sliding off the sides. Stupidly, I hadn't laid down anything or gone to the bathroom, so my carpet was ruined. Great, now I have a concerned friend and a bloodstain. I started to cry, but now for a different reason. I thought he knew, I thought it would be okay. I thought maybe, just maybe, I would get away with it. I'm such a failure. I go and promise that I'll never put someone through this pain, but I go and do it anyways. Jack quietly sits next to me and grabs the tissue box beside my bed. As he helped me clean up, I apologized shakily through the beads of sweat and tears accumulating on my face. He moved the wastebasket onto the bloodstain and scurried into the bathroom. After a few seconds, he came back with a paper towel soaked in what I'm assuming is hydrogen peroxide and started to wipe my wrist gently. He asks for a sketchbook and I tell him where to find one. As calm as the breeze, he folds the thick paper until it is the perfect size to put on my arm. He bends it around the sides of my arm and secures it with a couple of rubber bands. "I used to do this before I started buying gauze rolls. I learned that paper towel is really easy to bleed through, but sketch paper is thicker." He gave me a nice long hug and I smiled as we exchanged heartbeats. I felt the warmth of his body and each rigid bone. I really wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with this man. I want him to be mine. Has he noticed the slight hints I've given him? He's such a cutie. We finally released went to sleep.

***

I woke up confused as I tried to remember what had happened. Why was my trash can was right by my bed? Why is there paper on my arm? Why is there a blanket on the floor? Jack slowly walked into the room and smiled. "Up late, are we?" I looked at the time, 9 am.
"It's not that late.." I muttered as my mind finally retrieved what happened. I slowly peeled the paper off, wincing where it had stuck to my skin. Jack said to wash it off with water and go downstairs because my mom had already made breakfast. I did so and jack said he was going home in a little bit. I thanked him as he walked out the door and imagined him never having to go away.

A/n: I fucking did it omg. I know what I'm doing now, don't worry these will come out much much faster.