Before I Began To Grow

Chapter Five

Sherlock heard the front door open with the spare key he had given John. Were they going to fight again? Sherlock was not in the mood. He just wanted either John to leave him in peace...or to admit to what he did.

John walked slowly up the stairs, his stomach doing flips. How could he have not noticed Sherlock's love for him? Now that it was pointed out to him, it was so incredibly obvious. John swung open the door into the sitting room. Sherlock was standing at the window, staring out. He had his back to John, and the Doctor couldn't make out his reflection in the window. It was only four in the afternoon, but it was already starting to get dark outside.

''Hey, Sherlock.'' John said, walking in and collapsing onto the couch. 

Sherlock could tell just from John's voice that he had had a change of heart, for a reason that was still unknown to him. Sherlock turned around and looked at John. He was waiting for John to...Well, he didn't know. What was he waiting for?

John looked up at Sherlock, his face was sad and resigned. Not irritated or annoyed like before. He felt...guilty. John had to admit that to himself. He had been horrible to Sherlock. He knew he had...and, now he wanted to go back and change everything that had happened in the last seven years. He couldn't, though. John got up from his seat, keeping his eye contact with Sherlock.

He rested his hand on Sherlock's shoulder. Sherlock looked down at John's hand for a split second, then back to John's eyes. ''What are you...?''

John sighed. ''I'm just...''

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. ''You're just what?''

John bit his lip and dropped his gaze with Sherlock. He felt a horrible lump in his throat. He didn't understand why he felt so bad. They were talking, weren't they? But, John knew at his very core, that the reason he felt so bad was because he was the reason Sherlock's life had turned upside down. 

''John?'' Sherlock prompted. 

John looked back up into Sherlock's eyes. ''I'm sorry.'' John whispered softly.

Sherlock's eyes widened a fraction and his face softened up completely. Who was he kidding? He still loved John, and all it would take would be for John to apologize. ''It's fine.'' He heard himself mutter before his brain could catch up with him.

John winced and took his hand away. ''No...it's really not. But...before we find another reason to fight, I want you to know that I am sorry. And...you have every right to be acting to way you are.''

Sherlock could only nod. He watched John hang his head, contemplate something. He obviously decided against it, because he turned his back on Sherlock and headed for the stairs. 

Sherlock stepped forward. ''Uh...Lestrade said that maybe we should both camp out in here. Safer for you...you know.''

John nodded, not sure if he dreaded it. ''I'll just get my sleeping bag.''

Sherlock nodded and let John walk off. Once John was out of ear shot, and out of sight, Sherlock let his eyes widen, let himself release his breath. He fumbled backwards until he landed in his armchair. That had been unexpected. What the Hell had happened back at the station to make John change his mind-

Sherlock gasped, then frowned. ''Dammit, Lestrade.'' He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Lestrade answered on the second ring. 

''What the Hell did I say about telling him?''

''Woah, woah, woah. I didn't tell him everything!'' Lestrade tried at defending himself.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. ''You're lying!''

''No, I'm not! And, you've no way of telling. You have to see me to do all the deduce-y stuff!''

''And, just by you saying that, I'm going to assume you told him!''

''How could you possibly know? I didn't tell him!'' Lestrade lied.

Sherlock pursed his lips. ''Okay, fine. I don't know. How could I? But, if I find out you did, I'll-''

''You'll what? Thank me for him having a change of heart?''

Sherlock's eyes became slits. ''Fine. Thank you for that...but, that was my business. You had no right in telling him.''

Sherlock heard Lestrade sigh. ''Fine, fine. Just...come see me tomorrow.''

''Fine.'' Sherlock snapped, then hung up. 

Sherlock heard John coming down the stairs, so he got up from his seat to set up some fold out beds for himself and John. What a wonderfully, awkward night this would be!