DAN: Why am I giving up on women? You just…you reach a point.
No-one said finding someone was going to be easy, but sometimes you’ve got to know when to quit.
You can try everything: being more honest, or bigging yourself up. Acting more assertively, or taking it slow and trying to be laid back. Letting women know how you feel, or leaving them to guess.
In the end, it’s always the same. SLAM! You end up flat on your back. And not in a good way.
I’ve been on the end of one too many knockouts and now it’s time to throw in the towel before I sustain a serious head injury. It’s fine. Maybe it’s just not supposed to happen for me. I can live with that. I can be a mysterious bachelor who gets more enigmatic and attractive the older he gets.
I wonder if that’d work…
DELPHINE: Dan is giving up on women? Zat’s a shame. I think he would make somebody a very good ‘usband. Not me, of course. He is so not my type, but somebody.
I shall try and change his mind when I speak to ‘im about the spreadsheet he is building for me. I need to get it finished, because my manager wants to take me out for drinks. I ‘ear his wife is away for the weekend.
ROB: He wouldn’t say this himself, but I can. He’s giving up because women are crazy.
You see nice guys like him get trampled as the dames stampede towards the bad boys with the smart mouths and dangerous looks. I mean that’s fine for me obviously -- if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But for Dan… Maybe he needs a tattoo, or a really cool scar.
HANNAH: Yes, thanks to Dr Rob Harrison there for the latest academic views on gender politics.
I don’t think Dan’s giving up at all. He’s just reached a bit of a low. But that’s where we come in. We can smarten him up a bit, teach him how to relax a bit more around girls he fancies. And make sure he’s not getting mad crushes over work colleagues, or any woman working in the service industry who wishes him a nice day.
But there is, hard to believe, something in what Rob here says. Dan needs to get out there a bit more, and make more of an effort -- in the right way.
Get a bit more GRR, a bit more OOFF.
ROB: You know, you sound like one of those judges on a cooking show describing an under-seasoned risotto.
HANNAH: Well, he has all the right ingredients, we just need to… perfect the recipe.
ROB: Right… And you’re happy going public with this metaphor?
HANNAH: Yes.
ROB: But seriously, people. If you are out there dating, always remember to use a condiment.
DAN? DAN! You out there? She’s comparing you to a risotto.
HANNAH: Shush.
DAN: Of course, Rob and Hannah think they can fix what I’ve spent my whole adult life breaking. But I think we’ll just have to see about that. I mean I say I’m giving up, but you know, I could be lured out of retirement by the right person. Hannah seems to really believe there could be someone out there…
And anyway, how bad could it be? They can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do, right?
DAN TAYLOR IS GIVING UP ON WOMEN is published by Carina UK and available from all major eBook retailers.
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00E8F97L6
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E8F97L6/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb
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Apple iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/ie/book/dan-taylor-is-giving-up-on/id681209503?mt=11
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Why Is Dan Taylor Giving Up On Women?
ChickLitAs Dan Taylor Is Giving Up On Women by Neal Doran is published by Carina UK, we go behind the scenes for interviews with Dan and his friends to find out why he's given up on women, and how on earth he thinks he's like the Diet Coke Guy.
