Bonnie the Library Witch

Bonnie the Witch is a silly short story I started to write when I worked in a library a little over four years ago. I was attempting to tie in a bunch of stories that turned a library into a Jumanji-type environment.

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Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far, far away, there was a once normal public library in Everyday Town, USA. A library assistant, named Bonnie, had somehow held sway over management for years, since she always got herself excused from work by being absent for months at a time. She found her power had limits though, for she was fired one day out of the blue. She came storming out of the offices, and declared for every soul to hear, “Hear me now and listen well,” while what appeared to be menacing clouds gathered above her, “this travesty will not stand! You will all pay and pay dearly you will . . . .”

“Is she turning into Dark Willow from Buffy or something?” whispered a library page to one of the other library assistants.

Silence You!” roared Bonnie the Witch.

The page disappeared right out of sight, while Bonnie continued, “I curse this place this day. You will experience all fiction in this place, first hand. No one can hide, for you will pay, for this travesty will not stand!” in a flash of light, Bonnie disappeared.

The boss came out of her office and asks, “What just happened?”

Everyone responded that Bonnie was being her overly dramatic self, since nothing seemed to have happened that day.

The next day, around noon or so, a boy appeared out of nowhere, and said, “I am Sam, Sam I Am. I like green eggs and ham,” then he asked one of the librarians, “Do you know where I can find some green eggs and ham?”

Muttering to herself, the librarian says, “Oh great, Dr. Seuss characters.” then she says out loud, “No, Sam I Am, I do not know where you can find green eggs and ham.”

Suddenly, without warning, a man stepped out of the book stacks, and said, “Greetings Sam I Am, I am Hannibal Lector, and I like fava beans and a nice chianti. However, I could probably try some green eggs and ham, would you like to find some green eggs and ham so we can share?”

“I am Sam, I like green eggs and ham, so sure, let us go and eat some green eggs and ham. Lead the way, Hannibal who likes fava beans a nice chianti."

“Um, Sam, that would really not be a good idea,” interrupted the Librarian.

“Shush you, we’re just getting to know each other,” replied Lector.

A few minutes later, with no shout or sigh, out walked Sam I Am, clearly satisfied. The Librarian could hardly contain her shock to see Sam I Am, and asked, “What happened to Hannibal Lector?”

“I found that not only do I like green eggs and ham, but I also like a little bit of Hannibal Lector on the side. Yummy!” he licked his chops and disappeared back into the stacks.

To say the library staff was shocked was putting it mildly. Some were fainting, while some were upchucking at the thought of Sam I Am having cannibalistic thoughts.

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again!” exclaimed the Librarian.

The next day was even weirder than before. When the staff arrived, they found a jungle and what sounded like the roaring sounds of dinosaurs. As the staff picked their way through the jungle, they heard a familiar cry, of Tarzan, swinging through the vines. It wasn’t very long before a T-Rex came to see what all the shouting was about. The T-Rex saw a man swinging from vines, so he opened his jaws and in swung Tarzan, while the T-Rex swallowed him whole. The library staff winced, it was a gruesome sight to see, even though the T-Rex seemed satisfied, stuffed with Tarzan fricassee.

Someone else, a library patron, came running from the stacks, terrified you see, as ten Raptors came running after him, nipping at his heels. He shouted, he cried, but it was no use, as ten little Raptors ran him down for all to see. They made quick work of him, causing the Librarian to gag, as she retrieved his library card from his separated hand. She scanned his card, to reveal lots of fines the patron had. The Librarian clicked her tongue, and said, “What a shame. What a crime. One less patron to pay his fine. What a travesty. Oh well, it was bound to happen, you see.”

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Got suggestions on how I should continue this little story or should I shoot it and bury it? Leave a comment or two. Thanks.