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Chapter Three

"Darling, let me make you some breakfast," Michael offered across the kitchen the following morning.

"I'm fine, really. I need to go," I said with a weak smile as the dog, Balder, a huge, but seriously soppy Great Dane pushed his head into my hip. "Hey Baldy, I know, but I gotta go," I said apologetically knowing that the dog was desperate for a little love and attention. My guilt for my inability to provide that for the dog greater than my need to give my husband the same

"Let me drop you at work, I could even come and see what they've done to my building," Michael offered.

"No thank you, and no again," I replied, grabbing my bag and dashing to the door where the dog blocked my path. "Don't do this, Balder, not today, please. I will take you for a run at the weekend, a long, muddy one," I promised sincerely and was glad when Michael appeared with the dog's lead.

"Come on matey, Mommy has to go to work so you'll have to make do with me for a dash round the block."

"I am not his Mommy, I'm sure she was hairier than me," I told Michael with a smile.

"And taller," he replied.

"Below the belt," I laughed feeling a familiar and genuine warmth for the man before me. "Take it easy, don't push yourself on your dash around the block," I warned with a combination of concern and worry that turned into resentment that if he did I'd be nursing him through the whole weekend.

When did I become such a bitch I asked myself, remembering what I'd done last night to the man I'd promised to love, cherish, be faithful to, never to obey though, that was a step too far even for me at a naïve twenty three.

"Mmm, speaking of which, I'm sorry about last night, breaking the moment with my medication alarm..."

I cut him off with a wave of my hand, "Michael it's fine, there's more to life than sex, more to us, right?" I asked, desperate to believe the words leaving my mouth, but not quite succeeding.

"Of course, but you're young, you have needs that I might not be able to fulfil..."

"Michael," I snapped as the sound of the taxi beeping outside made me rethink my mood. "This is not the time, I don't have time for this right now, I have a ball breaker boss who is likely to sack me if his tea, just a dash of milk, no sugar isn't waiting for him, and besides that what is the solution to this, us? Viagra, a cabana boy, a time machine? I have to go!" I cried stepping over the dog to open the door just enough to squeeze through.

"Well done, absolutely fucking marvellous Eloise!" I shouted at myself as I slammed the taxi door startling the poor driver who confirmed my destination and then didn't speak again until he told me my fare, almost apologetic for disturbing my bitch of a mood.

I needed to sort out my head and my frame of mind before I landed in the office so I used the time in the lift to think.

When I'd returned home Michael was sitting in front of the TV watching some interactive 'extra' show about the bees which was almost enough for me to forgive myself for shagging a nameless man behind my husband's back, almost. After nearly falling over the dog I ran upstairs and showered, all evidence of any wrong doing washed away, physical evidence anyway. I threw on a pair of cotton shorts and vest before returning downstairs where my husband was lounging on the sofa with his legs stretched out reading the paper.

"You ok?" he asked looking at me over the top of his reading glasses as he placed his paper down on the coffee table.

"Mmm. I love you," I declared and almost made a full confession when he took my hand in his and pulled me down into his lap.