Affairs of the Heart (Temporarily on hold for publication of Beloved Beast)

Chapter One

11 years later ...

          Clara braced against the leather seat as the carriage jostled in a jarring motion down a lonely stretch of dirt road; propelled by a number of hooves. She reached out with a trembling hand to shift the silk curtain aside, gazing outward to the familiar span of countryside.

          Her stomach lurched nervously as they drew closer to her father's estate. She let the curtain fall back into its rightful place as she settled further into her seat.

          It had been so long since she'd seen her father. She was awash with so many feelings. Would he be happy to see her? How had he fared all these years? She tried not dwelling on the fact that he'd barely written to her in the past decade, in truth, there hadn't been a single letter.

          That disheartening thought brought a stabbing to the back of her eyes. She resisted the urge to cry with a grounding of teeth. She had done plenty of crying many restless nights, recalling time and again all of which she had lost to consumption. She hadn't known it for what it was at the time of her mother's untimely death. Had she known that some terrible infectious disease would wreck havoc on her mother's lungs, she would have –

          The notion gave Clara pause. What could she have possibly done or said to have prevented its unfortunate happening? It not only had claimed her mother's life – but her father's. It had changed the course of their lives forever.

          Allan Massey had always been stern, but never cold. Yet, her father had dismissed her abruptly from his life with such cold, unwavering indifference; casting her to a dull imprisonment of acquiring decorum. She had never fully recovered from his brusque dismissal. His nonchalance to her departure had left a residual void in her heart, branding it with bitterness and anger. She not only had to grieve the loss of her mother but also the absence of her father. And that pain had been tremendous, gripping her heart in a terrible, unforgiving vise.

         Albeit in spite of those feelings, Clara longed for his affection and adoration. Her father was all she had left in the world, and because of that she had delved into her curriculum in hopes of making him proud by excelling in every subject. In the end, she came to the realization that all those years spent within that boarding school had indeed proved beneficial. She had discovered her independence. She had mastered at every required domestic and fashionable subject and essentially it became a welcoming distraction from the weight of her emotional woes.

           And now she was home.

           Her heart swelled at the prospect of seeing her father and every helping hand that maintained there country manor. And she realized she was wrong to think her father was all she had left. There were the servants, and –

           Jack. Her heart soared in anticipation at seeing the one person to frequent her dreams. Her savior. Her protector. Her one true love. She had thought of him always, imagining the day they would reunite. All these years and he had not strayed from her thoughts. She often recalled his kind words and soft-smiling eyes. And at times she wondered as to the man he'd become. Had the years been kind to him? Had he thought of her these past eleven years?

           Clara felt a trace of a smile as a promise he made to her long ago arose to mind.

           I'll marry you someday, little one. You'll let me, won't you?

          Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! She exclaimed inwardly with a broadening smile. But it vanished as the carriage rolled to a jarring halt and her stomach churned with a sudden anxious void.