What Lay in the Dark

7. Harsh Reality

I was curled up into a ball on Egan's couch, sipping the hot chocolate he'd just given me. Apparently he could make that as well. Egan sat next to me watching me from an angle, which I'm quite sure made me look like a child, but I didn't really care.  

"Ailia, what happened back in Ireland?" Egan asked gently. "Why did you move here?" 

I stared intently at my hot chocolate. "I just want to forget about it." 

"I know," Egan placed his hand on my arm. "But we can never just forget. Our past, good or bad, are a part of who we are. And demons bring out the worst in us." 

My gaze shifted to look out the window, at the sky. "I don't..." 

"You have to tell someone, Ailia. If we're going to fight this demon we need to know exactly what it can use to get to you. And you need to tell someone, for your own sake." 

I sighed. Egan was probably right, and even if it didn't make any sense, he was one of the only people I trusted. If I had to tell someone, I wanted it to be him. I took another sip of the hot chocolate and swallowed.  

"I was never meant to be born. My mother hated me from the moment I was conceived. My father, well, I doubt my mother even knows who he is. I was always just a person who was in the way. If I was lucky, she'd ignore me. If she spoke to me, she'd tell me I'd never be anything; that I was useless and ugly, and that there was no point in my existence." I took another sip of hot chocolate.  

"That's harsh," Egan commented.  

I nodded. "My brother was there for me though. He practically raised me. He was the one who took care of me when my mother was out drinking. He made sure I went to a good school and got a decent education." 

"Sounds like he's a good guy." 

I nodded, drawing my legs closer to me.  

"But there's more, right?" 

I smiled. "There was a guy in high school. He was the type that every girl wants and he liked me. I was shocked at first. I didn't really understand why anyone would ever think of me in that way. When your mother doesn't love you, who will? But apparently he did. So we dated for a few years, and I moved in with him. Then he started getting possessive. He got violent." 

"He hit you," Egan finished. 

"I tried to tell him not to. And then I tried to leave him, but it never worked. It only made things worse." I stopped to collect my thoughts. "He started forcing me to do things. He used me." 

"When you say use..." Egan began. 

"Sexually." I winced at the memories.  

Egan nodded, his hand slid down my arm to take my hand. There was a tingle and I smiled. It was comforting. "Why didn't you just get out of there?" 

"I tried, but then he told me that no one else would ever love me, and I believed him. If my brother hadn't found out..." 

Egan brushed the hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ears. "He did though, right?" 

"He found out. One night when Joel - my ex - wasn't home, he took me back to his house and started looking for places for me to get away. We looked into jobs and houses, and found this." I smiled. "He never told Joel where I was going, just that I was leaving Ireland." 

Egan smiled, "I guess that didn't sit too well with him." 

I shook my head. "He tried to get to me, but my brother didn't let him. Eventually I moved to Scotland to get away."