Broken Blue Balloons (Islamic Story) ON HOLD

Beauty doesn't come easily

Chapter

I saw him standing in the corner with Black and his friends. He didn't even look at me, nor did I show that I was. It had been three weeks since he had spilled his real thoughts about me. The last person who would think about me like that thought even worse than Black. Black insulted my appearance, Noah my thoughts and personality. That was way worse than Black. I thought back about the day where it happened.

I wiped away my eyes, just to dry them. I never cried easily, though this time I had no control. Tears were streaming down without my permission and I couldn't fight to stop them. I was looking down, feeling completely full. I knew that if I jumped, I would be empty. The things that had been waving around in my body would just fall apart, going all in the air. I shouldn't have talked- not a word. I wish I was born mute. That way I wouldn't have to explain myself, nor answer when they asked me anything. I looked down at the cars passing by. Would they even care when I wasn't there? Would they even take a minute of silence to think about me? I half-smirked. They wouldn't. No one would. I looked around, trying to see people. Everyone was just walking by, not knowing what I was going to do or what I was thinking. I let go and took a step back. I shook my head. No, I couldn't do this. I didn't have the courage to do this. Maybe it was because I was scared. I didn't know what was going to come after that. Would I just die and rot away? But that didn't even make sense. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw something white, glued to the side of the bridge. I walked towards it immediately when I remembered the color.

'Dear Nila,

Weren't you told to never give up? You know that you will become blue when you do. You will become like these balloons that you didn't give a second chance to live. Do you really want to give up, or are you scared to live your own rules? Are you scared that they won't like the things you love to do, or did you come to the world for a reason? Your aim in this world isn't to get miserable by people who don't even matter. Your aim is to first find yourself, then the one that could help you. It is too early to explain to you who it is, because you first need to find yourself. This isn't you. Go find yourself, it is somewhere out there. Just remember, don't become blue..'

"Nila!" I heard from behind me. I ignored the voice, focusing on what Seda was saying. I kept on walking through the hall of the school. My mind wanted to turn around and yell at him, but I knew I couldn't. Ignoring was the only thing that could prevent everything.

"Nila, wait!" he yelled again. What was wrong? I turned around, seeing him running up to me. He just looked me in the eyes without saying anything.

"We need to talk" he said, just like anyone else would. Such a cliche way to start when you are talking to someone you weren't for a long time and when you actually don't have anything to talk.

"We don't have anything to talk about" I said, making it more cliche and turning around to walk away. The madness in me was going up to surface. The things he said to me are running a marathon in my body, making it hurt everywhere. I heard his voice again when I was a few steps further, that made me turn around again.

"I got a letter" I looked him in the eyes, trying to see if he was joking. Then he held the letter high, making it visible for me. I walked closer to him, wanting nothing more than to read the letter. How was it reaching him now too?

"Is it dedicated for you or me?" I asked him, wanting to know if he got involved in this too. He turned the side where the name was written. 'Noah'.

"What does it say? How is it that you got involved too? Who the hell is this?" I said, putting my hand on my forehead, wanting nothing more than to stop it. It was scary and I didn't want to wake up every say, seeing all these letters that spill out my soul.

"I told you, we are going hiking" he said and turned around, without even looking back.

"I'm never doing this again" I yelled up at him. Noah was a little higher, since he could hike up the mountain faster than I did. I hated hiking- or any sports with passion. Just give me a book and chocolate and I would be happy.

"You're such a loser. Come on, hurry up" he said, while walking faster than he did. I was on my knees, trying to climb with my arms too, since I was so weak. He then looked at me, seeing in what position I was.

"Girl, do you never do any sports?" he asked me. I raised an eyebrow, annoyed that sarcasm was dripping off his face.

"Can't you tell yourself, smartkid?" I snapped back. Our conversations only contained this kind of stuff, since we weren't really on good terms.

"When are you going to say what the letter said?" I asked for the 20th time. He just wouldn't tell. I didn't know why he was hiding, since he always knew what mine said. Okay, not exactly, but he knew what we had to do.

"I will push you off this hill if you ask it again" he said annoyed. I stuck out my tongue, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"That makes you look ugly" he said, making my eyes widen. He then turned around and just smirked. I just ignored him and stood up when we were finally at a flat surface, on the top of the mountain. It wasn't a big one, but enough to just hate it for all this effort to get here.

"I hated it, I hated it, I hated it, I hat-" I stopped when I looked forwards and saw the sight of it. The sun was shining on the city- I could even see its straws that were going down like a lightning shadow. The city was little, like a town. The greenness of the fields stood out so much, that it made you wonder if it was real. The path that we walked towards the mountain looked like a little line that brought you to the beauty of the city. My mouth opened a bit. Why haven't I found this place sooner? And how did the city look so good, when it isn't?

"Do you still hate it?" he asked softly, standing behind me. I shook my head.

"It was worth it" I whispered, still looking at the city. The cool wind was whispering through my hair, making my hair fly to the side. It made me feel free, carefree.

"As you can see now, nothing worth having comes easy. We had to work hard to get this sight. Don't you think life is like that? I do. When you want beautiful things, you need to work for it" he said, as if he was kind of talking to his own mind, but loudly.

"But sometimes the things from which you think are beautiful, are actually not. Look at the city, our town. It looks amazing from up here, but if you walk through it, you will see the ugly people who give you the worst stares, who talk ruthlessly. They just make you want to get ten feet under the ground, hiding breathless. Sometimes you just misunderstand what beauty really is" I said back, even though I agreed at what he said.

"Sometimes you need to open your eyes" he whispered. I nodded lightly.

"Sometimes you need to talk out loud" I whispered back at the wind.

"Sometimes you need to trust yourself" he now whispered after a few minutes.

"Sometimes you shouldn't give up" I said, remembering the letter.

"And sometimes, you need to say sorry" he said, coming up next to me. I turned to him, not quite understanding what he said.

"I'm sorry for being mean to you. Your thoughts aren't annoying" he said, looking at the city. The sunlight made his blue eyes turn lighter. This was the blue that was nice, sincere. It wasn't the one that could be a shadow very easily, for that it needed to turn a lot more shades darker, which wasn't easy. I knew he meant it.

"What do you think this journey is going to bring us?" I asked him, knowing that we were in this game together.

"I don't know" he shook his head and then looked at me for a second.

"But I trust it to know that it will only bring beautiful" he said, before looking at the city again.

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Random Fact: I hate sports with passion

Salaam guys! Long time no see. I really had a writers block for a few weeks and I've been quite busy, but here a long chapter to make it up!