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I wake up to someone screaming outside. I stretch my arms out and rise up from my bed carefully putting on my slippers as I work myself to stand up.
"I told you I am innocent!"
"Let go of me f*ck!"
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slowly walk towards my cell door trying so hard to look outside on the little glass frame of the door. What is it this morning that people are being all so noisy?
And then I remember, I'm in a mental institution, that is. I inch closer, standing on my tiptoes peeking through the door. The shouting is still audible, and this time it's louder. The other patients must have woken up to the situation like me and so the crazy noises filled the air.
The other started shouting and screaming too. And it's those kind of screaming that makes me want to throw things at them just for them to stop. But then again, mental patients would just scream even louder.
"I did not do it! You should be punishing that guy Chris not me!" the same guy who was shouting earlier screams again this time. One nurse passes by my door rushing to the guy I think. I can't see much details from here though so I gave up and just went back to my bed, covering my ears.
"I am not entering that cell I am not crazy!"
"Mr. DiLaurentis just go"
"Damn it! don't fucking touch me!"
I shake my head at whoever that guy is. I mean, if you're being forced inside a cell of a mental institution, then you better not mention things like 'I am not crazy' at the nurses and shouting because it will just give them more reasons on ushering you inside the cell. For short, no matter how much you retort, they already think you're crazy. And for the record, that just makes you sound even crazier.
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The door to my cell opens as the familiar-looking nurse peeks inside, "Lunch is ready"
I sigh standing up from my bed and heading for the door. The nurse opens it for me and then locks it once I set foot outside. To be honest, I'm actually starving. Thanks to myself for not eating dinner last night. I was just not into the mood.
"You know you should be really eating right," the nurse says startling me.
"Excuse me?" I snap glaring at him. I don't need anyone pointing out about my weight for any matter. I know I've probably lost weight over these past week because I'm barely eating. But I've been so sick of the foods in here and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
If I am already insane, then maybe I would go even more crazier if I stay up longer in here.
The nurse didn't reply after. Maybe he just figured it himself that it would be better if he'd keep his mouth shut. Or maybe he is scared, probably thinking that I would lash out on him.
As we are heading towards the cafeteria, a familiar face walks past us. She glares at me, and then starts laughing in hysterics. She is wearing a straight-jacket, probably for her not to cause any harm. And she is also being escorted by two nurses.
I realized the patient as Annika. And then the shrill fright washes over me. I remember how she whispered those things to me "I skinned them alive."
It was so frightening. Just thinking about what she might have done, what she might have reacted while doing that horrible crime. And I think, that really was a reason on locking her up in here. She probably should've been given a death penalty.
I am afraid that maybe I did something so close to being that horrible. I still wonder, every night, every waking moment, what I might have done that ended up my parents admitting me in here. Leaving me abandoned. Did I kill someone?
And then all at once, just like every single time I overthink things, an eerie laughter fills my ears. My mind goes blank and then blurry images are rushing through it. I try to cover my ears and scream but I can't move. I feel like I am stuck when in reality, I am just walking through the cafeteria. My mind is clouding up, it is like it's mentally somewhere, torturing me mentally and maybe spiritually.
"Are you alright?" I didn't even realize that I've stopped on my tracks. The nurse hold my arms lightly. I feel dizzy, and confused and horrible. It feels like I can't breathe. And it's the kind of thing that makes me think maybe I am guilty of something. Maybe I've done something so horrible and lunatic and I just can't remember it.
And then the laughter appears again, and then there are frightening screams. It isn't coming from the other patient's room. It's not coming from the electroshock room. It isn't coming from anywhere but inside me, "Hey are you alright? what's wrong? You look pale."
And then suddenly, I can't take it anymore. I screamed, covering my ears and then I ran, making sure I ran so fast so the voices in my mind would disappear. But it wasn't. I ran harder, crying. My feet are loudly thumping on the floor.
Images, blurry images starts appearing on my mind and then disappearing again after a few seconds. I can't seem to hear anything other than those terrifying screams inside my head. I shake my head still running. And then I feel sick, I cried and cried and fell down on my knees.
"Hey," the nurse caught my arms. I don't know how long I've been running and how far I've come. But the hall isn't familiar. There are only a few rooms unlike on the floor of the building I'm usually at. There's a big window at the far end of the hall, "are you alright?"
My heart is still beating so fast, but the screaming and laughter were gone. I shake my head no and then it was all black.
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