An Even Fifteen (Fili x reader)

(15) To See Her Smile

Fili's POV

I closed her door softly so as not to disturb her or her rabbits, barely suppressing the frustration I felt that her brilliant smile had been brought out by Ori. Why had it not been me? Why could she not smile like that for my sake?

The jealousy that boiled in my stomach startled me. Her smile was so beautiful, so blindingly perfect-- why should I be jealous that someone else caused it?

Perhaps she was my One.

I shoved that thought away as soon as it reared its head. There was no way she was my One. She was human, a mortal. Surely Mahal would not be so cruel as to make my One so short-lived, so different from myself? No, it was not possible. No matter that her smile was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. No matter that I couldn't stop watching her. No matter that my heart melted a bit every time she said my name. She couldn't be my One. There was no way.

"Mahal, Fee," Kili stopped me as I entered the kitchen, "what's got your pants in a twist?" I slugged him in the shoulder and took a plate of food.

"Don't tell me it's that lass?" Bofur said snidely. "Of course, Y/N did look mighty fine in those new clothes. Who knew she had such a figure beneath all those wizardy robes!"

"Oi!" I barked. "Hold your tongue!"

Kili laughed as I shot him a glare. "You do have eyes for her!"

"I have eyes in my head, which is another thing entirely. And we should not speak of her so," I retorted, hoping a change of topic would move the conversation away from Y/N so I could smother yet again the jealousy rising like a snake in my belly. "Have the others gone for their shift in the hall?"

Balin answered, setting his mug of ale down with an air of exhaustion. "Aye, and Thorin grows ever more restless. The Arkenstone is important, of course, but I worry about him."

I nodded. "He is altered."

"And not for the better," growled Dwalin. "I'll see if I can talk some sense into him. It'll do us no good to spend all our efforts on finding that stone."

After Dwalin left, I ate as quickly as I could, my thoughts alternating between my uncle, the stone, and Y/N. Much as I disliked admitting it, there was something that drew me to her inexplicably, and it would not be denied. For all the importance of the Arkenstone, for all the worry over Thorin's altered attitude, I could not put her brilliant smile out of my mind. What could I do to earn such an expression from her?

An idea sprung up, and I left the kitchen in search of ink and parchment to draw up a plan. I found some in an untouched office in the royal wing, and set to work. It had to be perfect.

Four discarded plans later, my brother opened the door to find me scrawling away with a very dull quill. I tossed the quill away from me in frustration, and Kee caught it before it hit the floor.

"What did this poor quill ever do to you?" He asked, but his sly smile said he already knew what bothered me.

"I can't get it right!" I growled, swatting the plan in front of me. "She'll hate it. It will be too heavy, and the shape is all wrong."

Kili looked over my shoulder and set the quill down. "It doesn't look so bad. I'm sure she'll like it, even if the shape is all wrong."

I groaned. "She deserves something better than this. All my years of training, and all I can come up with is this caragu rukhs."

"You're right." I looked up at Kili, angry he had agreed with my unkind assessment of my work. His smirk only widened as he continued, "She does deserve something better, but I think this," he tapped the parchment in front of me, "is a good start."