Keeping Things Whole [ON HOLD]

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I’m feeling better in the morning; most of the throbbing is gone and my head has stopped bleeding, so I guess that’s a plus. I wake up earlier than usual (before noon, if you’d believe it), and now the light that’s streaming through the hospital shutters is a pale cream instead of gold. I watch as the dust swims in and out of the light, catching it and glinting when they pass; I never really noticed how cool it looked until now.

I run a hand through my hair, as I’m accustomed every morning—it’s how I measure its disarray. Yep—just as messy as always. I catch a glimpse of myself in my refilled water cup on the bedside table; wonderful, it’s lopsided, too. I really need to learn to move around a little more when I sleep.

“Good morning!”

I glance over and there’s Lucas, chipper and perky as if he hadn’t just had a gallon of radiation exposed to his body. The only reason I’d ever be able to tell he had cancer were the growing circles under his eyes and the missing hair; besides that, he looks perfectly healthy.

“Well don’t you look chirpy?” I ask, and hope that I don’t sound too grumpy. I’m just one big fucking ray of sunshine.

“I feel better than yesterday, at least,” he says. “Anyway, I’m going home today.”

“Good for you, kid. Hey, do you know if they serve breakfast?”

He shrugs again; this time I can tell, since he’s sitting up, his thin legs tucked under him. “Maybe. I don’t remember. Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Well, don’t all boys your age have girlfriends?”

“Aren’t you a little young to be thinking about girlfriends?”

He frowns. “Well, I asked Cassie Baldwin to marry me when I was six. Does that count?”

“No.”

His frown deepens as he contemplates this. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I sigh and prop myself up on the pillows; my head still feels a little fuzzy and I want to take it easy so I can get out of here ASAP. “If you gotta know, then yeah, I’ve had a few, but none as of now. It’s nothing special. Not like those dumb chick flicks or anything.”

Lucas raises an eyebrow. “You’re bitter, aren’t you?”

Jesus, this kid just tells it as it is, doesn’t he? “Man, you’re a nosy little guy,” I tell him.

He looks at me intently, as if he hadn’t heard my last statement at all. “So you’ve had your first kiss?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So,” he says, looking exasperated, “what was it like?”

I regard him. “Well, I was fourteen years old. It was my friend, Alex’s birthday, and he had a party at his house. Someone suggested that we play spin the bottle and, like the dumb eighth graders we all were, we agreed. There were a bunch of cute girls at the party, so I was game. Well, nine of us all crowded around a coke bottle. Alex spun first and he kissed the girl on the cheek, then she spun and kissed another guy on the cheek. This went around until a girl kissed me on the cheek. I was so psyched and nervous to spin mine, and when I did, it landed on this girl, Emily, which psyched me up even more, since she was the IT girl in junior high; she’d already dated, like, seven guys since seventh grade. Well, I leaned forward, she turned just in time and we kissed on the lips. Well…” I grin, “we kind of made out, I guess; she was good, too. And then she never talked to me again after that.” I laugh at how stupid it is. “Yep, that was my first kiss.”