30 Ways to Piss off Gilderoy Lockhart:
1. Steal his collection of mirrors.
2. Smash his collection of mirrors.
3. Cast a spell on him so he has no reflection.
4. Cast a spell on him so he’s invisible.
5. Get everyone to ignore him.
6. Shave his hair off.
7. Turn his face into that of a horse/pig/hideously ugly creature/hideously ugly person.
8. Cast ‘Obliviate’ on him.
9. Tell him you’ve found a dark and scary looking secret chamber under the school and would he like to accompany you down there?
10. Ask him if he could give you a demonstration on Cornish Pixies.
11. Then ‘accidentally’ release them all.
12. Replace his peacock feather quill with a pigeon feather.
13. Say to him ‘Well, I’m sure you don’t want to know what happened to our LAST Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.’
14. Remove all the bones from his hand.
15. Remove all the bones from his body.
16. Cast a spell on him so he grows a huge, messy beard.
17. Tell him you hid his wand in the Cornish Pixie cage.
18. Occasionally send him threatening letters, and sign them ‘From the Pixies’.
19. Whenever you see him yell ‘Oh look! It’s… er, you know…whatever-he’s-called…’.
20. Doodle on all his books.
21. Doodle on all his self-portraits.
22. Don’t tell him about one of his book signings and go instead, signing each book with ‘Professor Forgetful/Wimp/Show-Off/Fraud’.
23. Send him a copy of the book ‘Mr Forgetful’.
24. Shrink all his robes and give them all to some Cornish Pixies.
25. Quote him whenever he’s around.
26. Challenge him to a duel.
27. Get Peeves to run riot in his office.
28. Ask him exactly how he got into Ravenclaw.
29. Tell him you’ve got a spot of Basilisk trouble and surely there is no wizard braver than him to deal with it for you.
30. Make multiple copies of this list and casually throw them around Hogwarts/St Mungo’s Hospital/Anywhere in particular.
Well there's my competition entry! Please let me know what you think! :D
