Julianna Catching Fire

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The last two and a half weeks went by in a blurry, grey haze. Alex and I tried to spent as much time together as we could because we knew that in sixteen or so short days, he would be gone.

I wanted to spend every waking moment with him, I made it my mission. And I wanted to really, fully enjoy every moment too. I really did. But I just couldn't. It was hard, trying to let whatever silly activity we were doing fully envelope me because I knew there were more important things at hand.

Instead of focusing on what we were doing I would focus instead on how rough his hand was when it intertwined with mine perfectly, as if my own hand was molded just to fit his. How he rubbed his neck when he was tired, frustrated, or thinking. The way his eyes crinkled a little in the corners when he smiled. How he'd let his lips linger on my own, just a few seconds longer than necessary, when he kissed me sometimes. How he'd look at me deeply and then give me a quick kiss right after I said something that he thought was funny, or intelligent, or sweet. How he'd immediately have a little stubble on his cheek after a couple of days of skipping a shave. How, when he was busy, he'd let his dishes pile up in the sink until he absolutely had to wash them. How he'd carelessly throw his tie across the lamp in his bedroom and sometimes accidentally slip on the dress pants he had on the day before because he rarely used his hamper. How he was...him.

I was going to miss every single thing about him.

He was leaving, and I didn't know if I was ever going to see him again. And there really wasn't anything I could do about it.

***

"Are you sure you can't go?" Abby whined through the phone.

"I'm sure," I told her for the millionth time that day as I walked into Alex's house.

Of course I couldn't go on the trip. The same time Alex was leaving the seniors would be getting together at school and getting ready to leave themselves. There was no way I was leaving Alex the day he was leaving me. I had to see him for this one last time. I was in way too deep and I hated myself for it.

"Why?" Braden and Chloe shouted at the same time.

I sighed, plopping down on the couch. "You guys, I - "

"You're coming," Chloe interrupted.

"And that's final," Braden added on at the end.

"Stop it," I told them.

"You have to come," Chloe insisted.

"Yeah!" Mallory interjected. "It's the last major trip of our senior year!"

"If you don't come they'll talk about it all weekend," Taylor groaned.

"Glad to see you care," I said sarcastically.

"Come on, Juuules," Braden pleaded and I could tell he'd taken off speakerphone.

"Come on, Braaade," I mocked.

"Seriously. Come!"

"You and I have already talked about this."

"Vaguely."

I continued like I hadn't heard him. "You know I can't come."

He sighed. "I know."

"Just...don't worry about me. Okay?"

"Right."

"Have fun."

"You too."

I clicked End and groaned as I got up and walked into the bedroom.