Vampire and Single

2. Sam

Wednesday

5.45 P.M. I am in my local supermarket.

Before I became a vampire I hated going to supermarkets. I didn't have the time or the energy to push a heavy trolley up and down various aisles buying meals for one.

Since I changed into a blood sucker going to the supermarket has become a pleasurable activity, that I undertake daily.

As you can guess I am a regular to the fresh meat counter and to the frozen meat aisle. The smell of raw meat does things to me. My nostrils come alive and tingle like crazy. I can feel a warm feeling whoosh up through my body and my brain sets off the 'raw meat near' alarm in my head.

I have got to know the lady who works on the meat counter at the supermarket really well. In fact she looks out for me now around at about 5.30pm. Her name is Pam and she thinks I am on one of those popular meat based diets.

'Hello, Pam', I say pushing up my trolley, laden with a couple of huge frozen meat joints, several frozen steaks and a few pork chops. Pam is a petite woman, with a nose that twitches like a small mouse and a high pitched voice similar to a squeak.

'Hello, Sasha,' she says warmly. Her eyes flick to my trolley. 'My goodness dear you are certainly taking this diet seriously. Are you experiencing any side effects from eating all this meat?' She asks, looking concerned.

If only Pam knew about the things meat did to me. I shake my head and look away. 

'Now then, what fresh meat are you looking for tonight?' she asks. 

'Anything bloody,' I say in a loud voice whilst hungrily surveying the counter packed full of red, succulent and juicy raw meat. Pam sighs before gesturing towards a number of trays.

5.56 P.M. I am walking home clutching my bags of meat.

I pass a gentleman with a dog. It looks cute until it starts snarling at me.  I do this to animals. Prior to turning into a vampire I thought about getting a dog. I wanted a tiny one which could sit inside my handbag and I could totter around with it looking cute. Then my commitment phobia set in and the thought of being tied down to something made me dismiss the pet idea. Now I would give anything for a pet and some company. The evenings alone in my flat are getting harder. My worry with a pet is that that I would probably end up eating it. 

7. 56 P.M. I am sat in my kitchen squeezing the life and blood out of a steak.

My phone bleeps. It is Sam, my ex- boyfriend. We were together at university and then for a year after we both left. It was my first and last serious relationship. When I say 'last' I mean that as I have little hope of finding anyone to love me as a vampire.

I don't think Sam has ever moved on. After we split up I hit the dating scene in a big way and was like a small child in a sweet shop. Emily and I became a dating force to be reckoned with and for a time we dated anything that moved or had a pulse.

Sam, however, struggled with finding dates. He still has not found anyone. Sometimes when he is drunk he sends me sweet texts telling me that he still loves me and will never find anyone to replace me. I would love to feel the same way about him but I don't have any feelings for him. 

I wish he would meet someone. I don't want to get back with him and even if I did I couldn't because I might get cross with him and devour him. He did used to irritate me with his singing in the shower, his inability to pick dirty laundry off the floor and his weak milky cups of tea. My fangs would be out in no time.

'Hello you,' Sam texts.

'Hi' I text back. With Sam I like to keep things short and simple.

'What are you up to?' he texts.

I laugh and start to type out 'draining meat so that I can drink the blood'.  Luckily I stop myself from pressing send and delete it. I go with the usual 'sat on Facebook'.

'Why don't I see you out anymore in town after work?' he texts, referring to the time before I was a vampire and I used to frequent the bars and clubs on a regular basis. Sam and I would often bump into each other and things would be awkward as I would have my arms wrapped around some other bloke.

I really want to text back 'because last year I turned into a vampire,' -  but I can't.

I don't think I have felt so lonely in my life. I would love to talk to someone about how I am feeling, how my body changes around meat and how sometimes I yearn for a good old fashioned hug. I used to be a big fan of hugs and I was always opening up my arms to everyone who knew me. Now a hug leads to the sweet smell of skin, followed by the delicious aroma of human meat.

My depression started when I turned into a vampire. I think it was perfectly understandable for me to develop a low mood about this situation. I view being a vampire as 'game over' for my life. All I have got to look forward to is succumbing to my vampire blood sucking urges and killing hundreds of innocent souls. 

On a couple of occasions I have made several anonymous calls to an emotional support helpline which work offer. It is confidential and manned by trained counsellors. You don't have to give your name or staff details and according to Helen at work you can talk to them about anything. 

I made the mistake of asking her what she had called them about and an hour later I was still listening to her ramble on about how her husband doesn't like public displays of affection with her anymore or sex. 

I made some calls to this helpline and spoke to some really nice counsellors. After an hour of skirting around the issue of my physical state I informed them that I was struggling with being a vampire.

The only help I got from them was some leaflets through the post on mental health and 5 free sessions with a face to face counsellor.

'Are you still there?' texts Sam.

I let out a groan and switch off my phone. He needs to find someone else. I can't do this anymore to him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

I return to my blood squeezing.

9.34 P.M. Reading a vampire book series.

I had an obsession for a certain vampire book series before I changed into a blood sucker. I read all the books and then read them all again straight after. They were really pleasurable books and the thought of some hot male vampire used to do things for me. Now I read them in the hope I might learn something new about being a vampire.

I know what you are thinking. Does Sasha sparkle in sunlight?

No I don't. Sunlight makes me feel sick. If anything it turns me a putrid green colour.

11.15 P.M. I am busy googling vampires.

This is what I do every night. I think someday I will stumble across something ground breaking. My fantasy is that there will be other vampires out there. People like me, struggling with day to day life and looking for company.