Shush, Don't Talk.

Continuation..

Alright, so let me explain. In Indian culture, girls have two families. After a girl gets married, her life and her devotion is for her husband and her in laws. She has to keep them happy, and her immediate family who she lived with for the most important years of her life have to adjust to being the second most important people now. So my grandma felt that her daughters/nieces, needed to be left alone and not be bothered with the burden of keeping back to back lunches for their aunt (basically second mom since she raised them for many years). 

I was amused at first, laughed a little and then asked again why my dad and his brothers couldn't do the same. Again, I got the same answer but in a slightly annoyed tone. So I made my point saying, "No that's wrong. Daughter or son, both are equal and their love and devotion for their parents should be equal too as well as their duties. After I get married and if my mom starts thinking she is a burden of any kind or an annoyance to my in laws, I would not tolerate that thought. If my brother has to feed you and take care of you, so do I. Married or not, my parents come before anyone else. Just because a girl is married does not mean her duties towards her parents change and become secondary." 

To this little monologue/speech or whatever you want to call it, I was not met with the response I hoped for. My grandma was annoyed, and my mom was a little mad showing clear signs of how much trouble I was in for speaking up in front of my grandma. But what broke my heart was my mom telling me "Shush! Don't Speak!" and that "you talk too much. They are right and it makes sense to have it the way we do." Shush. Sit. Again, told to sit down, shut up, and just blindly follow what my parents teach me without raising my voice, or else grandma and grandpa will think I am a trouble maker. But! what mend my heart right then was the reaction from my dad. My DAD, a man himself, clapped when I raised a concern of there being a difference between a daughter and a son. He clapped as if proud that I spoke up for my right as a DAUGHTER, to fight for a right of having complete love and devotion for my own parents that my brother is told to have. My dad clapped to show his love to me for being a strong and confident woman who knows when to speak up for her rights. 

Now you're probably thinking that I had mentioned being raised by loving parents who treated me equal to my brother. I was, and am. But this is society, and my parents live in a world full of fear of being outcasted. They live to make the society happy. So anyone who stands up against the traditions, who speaks out when told not to, who shares unwanted opinions is a trouble making child and risks the reputation of their parents. So my parents obviously just want me to be the behaved, quiet, soft-spoken girl that's accepted in this society. 

But, is reputation more important than living in a carefree society where every woman is just as equal as her male counterpart? That day when I was forced to re-think my place in my own household after I get married, my changed rights as a daughter after I become someone's wife got me thinking, is this society really changing in terms of how we think? Or are we stuck in the world of change without really changing our thoughts on the roles of women in our society? Though this particular in laws and after marriage role of a girl might not relate to other western societies, there are many ways how women are STILL not seen as equals to men throughout the world.