When We Sleep...

It started with a headache. That’s it, just a headache. Maddie had always had headaches, even when we were younger. It was nothing out of the ordinary, until she collapsed. I can still see it now, the beginning of the worst thing in my life. She had been sitting at our tiny kitchen table, massaging her temples. I was rummaging in the bathroom cabinet looking for the Tylenol and hoping it wasn’t out of date. Suddenly I heard an almighty crash and ran out of the bathroom to see Madison lying comatose on the floor. I think it’s fair to say my heart stopped beating at the sight of my best friend on the floor.

I fell to my knees beside her and pressed my fingers to the base of her throat. I almost collapsed with relief at the erratic beating against my fingers. Slowly I manoeuvred her into a sitting position, before wrapping one arm under her knees and the other around her waist. I gently hoisted her into my arms and carried her to the couch.

Her head rested on my shoulder, her brown hair spread over my arm. I bent my head and rested my brow on the crown of her head. I set her down, before moving back to watch her face. My fingers threaded into her hair and softly stroked as I waited for her to wake. My heart was still beating way too fast, so I leaned forward and placed my head back on hers. I inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine that seemed to always cover her like a scented aura. Her smell slowly calmed me down, and I resumed stroking her hair. I stopped when I felt her head move slightly. I stared at her face, willing her to open her eyes. Slowly, slowly her thick eyelashes fluttered open to reveal hazel eyes flecked with green. Her gaze was unfocused for a moment before her eyes zeroed in on my face.

“Hey Nemo, how you feeling?” I asked her quietly, using one of my many nicknames for her.

“Like crap. How did I get to the couch?” she whispered back.

“Well I carried you, didn’t I?” I replied.

“Seriously? You carried me?” she asked with her eyebrows raised.

“Excuse me. Allow me to inform you that I have been working out every day.” I said in mock indignation.

She giggled and said, “Climbing the stairs everyday does not count Zach.”

I frowned and pouted, which only made her laugh harder.

-*-*-*-

We sat together in the doctor’s office waiting for the test results. After the first episode Maddie had fainted twice again in the past three days. After a fight that had lasted almost the entire night, she had conceded and allowed me to take her to the doctor. She was the most stubborn person I had ever met, though I knew I couldn’t live without her. She was currently sitting with her back straight, pointedly ignoring me. I laughed a little at her childishness. After that is a blur. Even now, I can’t remember that consultation. No matter how hard I try I only hear a few phrases.

Brain tumor. Inoperable. A month on the outside. Plans. I’m so sorry.

I also remember Madison’s hand, which had found its way into mine. I fingers intertwined as the doctor talked and I barely listened. The next thing I knew Maddie was thanking Dr. Jones and standing up. She tugged on my hand and numbly I stood and followed her out. Our fingers remained tangled as we walked out of the practice and into the street. She turned to face me as I joined her on the deserted pavement.

As she looked at me I suddenly realized how beautiful she was. The wind blowing from the Thames was blowing into her, causing her chocolate brown waves to fly out behind her. She was wearing the green scarf I had bought her for her birthday, which made her normally hazel eyes a startling emerald green. Her skin was pale, with a flush growing on her cheeks because of the wind. She bit her bottom lip as she stared at me. She cocked her head to the side for a moment, before slowly walking up to me. She came as close as she had ever been, until we were chest to chest. I stared down into the eyes I knew better than anything else, and she smiled sadly at me.