Schizophrenia

Prolouge

They tell me I have schizophrenia. That I was born with it and there is nothing I can do. But I know different. I did this to myself. And if I were given the choice, I would do it again.

It started when I was in third grade. I was more curious than most, always sticking my head in places that it shouldn’t be, most the time literally. So the first time my ears rang, I wanted to know why. I’d heard numerous explanations but neither of them felt right.

For five years I speculated and wondered until finally, one night in eighth grade, I woke to the clanging in my ears much louder than it had ever been before. For the first time since it started, I embraced it, squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on that sound and only that sound. For what felt like hours it seemed nothing was happening. Then I heard it.

A voice. Very faint but very distinctly a voice. I couldn’t make out what it was murmuring, but it scared me more than any spider ever had and I stopped listening immediately. But the next day, when it happened again in math class, I let myself slip into it again. It was much easier that time and in just a few minutes, a different voice came through, much clearer than the night before.

“I want you…” she said softly. “I want you…” And from that day forward, the voices were with me, some moments stronger than others, but they were always there.

Everyone hears that ringing, some just more than others. Some people say it’s an auditory-illusion brought about by the ear’s inability to detect frequencies below the threshold of the human senses. But that is completely wrong. That ringing covers up something else all together. If you’re quick, patient, and maybe even a little lucky, you’ll be able to hear past that ringing. And what you’ll hear are voices whispering to each other. With practice, you will become more adept at catching and interpreting what they are saying. You’ll hear things of the past, the present, and the future. However, you have to be careful. Because there is no such thing as a voice without a body.

And once you start noticing them, they will start noticing you.

A/N: The video to the right is an audio representaion of what people speculate someone with schizophrenia would hear when they hear voices. Listen with headphones or earbuds to get the full effect. WARNING: Creepy as hell!