I looked in the mirror and didn't cry, for once, I thought maybe I had begun to love myself again. And then I realized I just feel numb. I forgot how to love myself long long ago.
Chapter 4
We finally burst out of the crowd and are in the open air. We look for our car and start walking towards it. The ride home goes too fast and suddenly the night is over, I thank Marie and go inside my house, flipping the light switch. "Where the hell were you?" My dad says from the couch. "You've been out 4 hours past your curfew."
"Aw dad," I say, "I told mom I would be back late, Marie and I had to drive three hours just to get back."
"I don't fucking care what you were doing!" He yells, "You're grounded until further notice." I just walk up the stairs to my room, I'm used to this by now, has obviously been drinking again. I decide to take a nice warm bath, wincing slightly as the water penetrates my cuts. I wash with some lavender bath soap and lay back. Before I know it Ive dozed off. When I wake up the water is cold and I'm stiff. I curse climbing out of the tub and drying myself off. After brushing my teeth I go on twitter. I smile seeing all the new pictures from Demi's concert and knowing I was there. I fall asleep a couple of hours later. The next morning I wake up to my dad banging on my door. "Jamee, get up this minute, you need to pack now!" He yells. I sigh, rubbing my eyes, what's this about packing? I open my door still half awake and my dad's standing there with a cardboard box in his hand. "Were moving," he simply announces,
"What?!" I say, "No! We can't!"
"It's not your choice" he says and takes off back to downstairs and the computer. I roan and pinch myself hoping that I'm still dreaming, I'm not. Why is my life so fucked up? Turns out were moving to Dallas Texas, which honestly isn't the worst place he could have chosen. Three days later were on a plane to Dallas. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Marie; we will still face time and Skype. The stewardess is giving out drinks and snacks, I just get a diet coke, and my stomach is just a dull pain now. I haven't eaten in over a week. I scroll through my phone contacts and stop at Demi's name, I wonder what she's up to I think, I almost text her but then I stop, not wanting to annoy her. I close my eyes and lean into a nap. I jolt awake as we touch down at Fort Worth and the lights come on, it's a raining, a wonderful omen for my new start on life. My parents and I collect our bags and walk out of the baggage claim to a waiting taxi. The ride to our new neighborhood takes about 45 minutes; we pull up to a nice three story brick house. My interest perks and I pull out one of my ear buds and go up to the front door. "Choose any room you want honey!" my dad yells. I go upstairs and explore. I eventually choose a room with a window above the roof; I think it will be good for midnight escapades from my hell of a life. It takes most of the afternoon to unpack and then I decide to take a walk. I go out to the garage and grab my bike, pedaling down the street. The cul-de-sac is large with about eight houses. I start to feel tired and decide to go inside and rest. I sit up and look at the clock, its 8am, oh god; school is in like five minutes. I race to get ready and hurriedly throw on my clothes. I simply don't have time to straighten my hair so I pull the strings of my hoodie tight and head out the door. I've already missed the bus and am late so I just take my time and walk to school.
