Queens of Geek

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: CHARLIE

"I think we took a wrong turn," I say as we fumble through the darkness. A minute ago we were running down a replica Sydney street, now I'm not sure where we are.

But it's dark.

And we've lost the Entertainment Now crew.

And I'm stuck with Jase.

Again.

"It's a maze," he says, his voice flat. "They're all wrong turns."

I roll my eyes even though he can't see it. "There's at least one right way to go here."

"Whatever."

I bite my tongue, resisting the urge to ask him what his problem is. I hope he's being extra snooty because he's slightly hungover, and not because he's bitter after I turned him down.

"I thought about what we talked about yesterday," he says, and I cringe. "And I've decided I don't want you back."

I roll my eyes again, this time so hard it hurts. "Good for you."

"It is good for me," he says, the sarcasm so thick I can feel it. "You and me, it was fun while it lasted. But it wasn't enough."

I hear what he's trying to say: I wasn't enough.

Not so long ago, hearing those words would have cut me deep.

But I can see through him now.

"You're right," I say. "It wasn't enough."

His silence tells me he wasn't expecting me to react that way.

He takes another swing. "Yeah. You just looked so hot. I had to take another shot."

He wants to break me.

I won't break.

I am unbreakable.

I spin around in the dark, looking up at where I think his face is. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" His voice is strained, defensive.

"Act like such a macho jerk?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you forget that I know you? That I know who you are underneath all that bravado?" I poke him in the chest. "I know you, Jason. Better than most. You don't have to play this with me."

"I'm not playing. It's not some macho act. I'm a guy."

I push out a frustrated groan. "So? Being a guy doesn't mean you have to act like an inconsiderate, misogynistic asshole. If you're hurt that I didn't want to get back together, say so. But don't act like all you really wanted was sex. That might fool everyone else, but it doesn't fool me."

His incessant need to 'act like a man' was something we fought about when we were together. He would be sweet, sensitive, and emotional with me when we were alone. But the moment we were around other people, he'd turn into some wannabe jock character straight out of a teen rom-com.

There's nothing more disheartening than thinking you know someone—on a deep, soulful level—only to find out they're someone else entirely.

I started questioning everything.

I didn't know if the Jase I knew was real, or if the Jase I saw at parties and in the press was real.

To make things worse, every time I brought it up with him, he would say it was all in my head.

He had me questioning my own sanity.

But once I learned he had cheated on me, I knew I wasn't crazy.

I realised he was too caught up in society's game of fitting in, and that's a game I've never been willing to play.

No one ever wins.

He breathes out a long, slow exhale. "I'm sorry. You know how much pressure I'm under. People are watching me all the time. All the roles I play are big, tough guys. I gotta live up to that."

"Jase, being disrespectful to me doesn't prove you're a man. Being mean to people doesn't make you any more masculine. It just makes you mean." A creepy growl echoes through the building, and I lower my voice. "And you're not the only one under pressure. It's no excuse to act like everyone else is beneath you."

He exhales through his nostrils in a huff. "I don't do that."

"You do. You know, you'd be much happier if you just stopped caring what other people think and just be yourself."

The hypocrisy of my words hit me hard, and I get an icky, squirmy feeling in my stomach.

Jase groans. "How about you just stay out of my head?"

"Believe me," I say. "I'd love to stay away from more than that. And once SupaCon is over, I can."

"Good."

"Great."

A bright, white light shines directly on us. I squint and cover my eyes with my arm.

"There you two are!"

It's Candice, the Entertainment Now reporter, and her two cameramen. "We lost you!"

My eyes adjust and I see I'm standing just inches away from Jase, and I take a step back.

Candice pauses a few feet away, eyeing us suspiciously. A pleased smile creeps across her face. "Did we catch you two canoodling?"

"No," we both say, our voices stern and obviously irritated.

She flinches a little, but quickly recovers with a smile. "Shame." She waves us over. "Come on, what are you waiting for? Let's find our way out of this zombie infested maze!"

The tension between us is thick, but neither of us let it get in the way of our work.

Jase and I catapult ourselves through the maze. A zombie leaps out, and Jase screams so loud it hurts my ears.

He laughs and pulls out his phone to Snapchat while we run.

"Is this bringing back some happy memories?" Candice asks.

I can't hide the contempt from my face and she sees it as an opportunity to bring up our relationship yet again. "Or perhaps some sad memories, Charlie? Is it tough being back here with Jason after such a public breakup?"

I bite my tongue, resisting the urge to throw a sarcastic comment in her face. "No, it's fine. We had so much fun filming The Rising, and this is just as fun." I smile, right on queue.

"What about you, Jason?"

He flashes her that pearly grin. "Charlie and I had some good times together on sets like these. Lots of great memories. And even though things with us didn't work out, we'll always have those memories."

Candice looks at him like he's the sweetest pear on the tree, then looks at me like I'm so lucky to be in his presence. "Don't you just wish all exes could be as great as him?"

This time, I hide my contempt but not my amusement. I laugh, shaking my head. "Yeah. He's something."

Three gross zombies appear from around a corner, and I'm grateful to them for saving me from this conversation.