Reminisce

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-Musicislifee

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Time: 4:30 p.m.

Date: Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Location: Chris's place

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Love-n- A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Crush-n- The object of such an infatuation.

♛ C H R I S ♛

This feeling is something I can't shake, the fact that I'm crushing hard on one girl and still in love with the other is pissing me off. I know that love is stronger than a crush, but not when the one you love is constantly pissing you off and pushing you away. Talking to Hathor the other night gave me a feeling I have never felt before, not even with Rhi. Talking to her and telling her about my past with her not judging me felt so damn good. Then her attitude just screams independent and that is a huge ass turn on. I really starting to like her a lot and I know Ty likes her way more than I do and I promise I'm not trying to take her away from him, but I can't help my feelings.

I love Robyn so much and I'm trying to get over her, but we somehow always end up back together. I swear I love her and everything about her, and I try so hard to make her happy, but nothing is ever good enough for her. One minute everything is peaches and cream then the next she's down my throat, and to top it all off, whenever we're having a heated argument she throws what happened years ago in my face.

Now here I am thrusting in and out of her while thinking of Hathor. I don't know how we ended up in my bed doing this, but I know I'm just going to regret it as soon as she leaves.

"...Shit..." I groaned.

I released all my kids into the yellow latex condom as she held onto my body releasing with me. I pulled myself out of her and rolled off her. I looked up at the ceiling, wiping the sweat off my forehead. I turned my head and looked over to see Robyn putting on her clothes.

This is like an everyday thing. She comes over, we fuck, and then she leaves. She tells me she loves me but she does this and it's hard. It just feels like I'm trying to preserve something that's already gone. Hathor is looking good more and more every day. I got up and threw the condom away, then sat back down on my bed.

I watched as she grabbed her phone and walked over to me.

"I really do love you Chris."

"Then why do you do this shit? You come over her fuck me, tell me you love me, and then leave like I'm some kind of one night stand," I stressed.

"I wouldn't tell a one night stand that I love them," she said smiling.

And there it is the thing that draws me in all the time, her smile. Her smile makes my insides melt, my palms sweaty, and my thoughts clouded. That's just her smile! I love this girl with every fiber in my body, but I don't know if I can do this.

"I'm not playin around Robyn, I love you and you say you love me, but yet all you do is fuck me. You won't let me take you out, you never stay after we have sex, and you never look me in my eyes when you say you love me."

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