WANTED: Love of my Life

24. At a Crossroads

In case you've got a parental streak, you needn't worry – I didn't come home that night very late. No, in fact I came home quite early. Okay, it was early the next morning (somewhere around two am I believe) but what did you expect? It was my first date!

Giacomo insisted on accompanying me home, which didn't particularly increase my speed on the way back. You can't really walk very fast while you're pressing yourself as close as possible against somebody else and try to get him to kiss you. Really, try it. It doesn't work. Giacomo was upset by my slow pace. Even though it was in the small hours of the morning, he seemed to feel a compulsive need to have me home early, as if that would make my sneaking out to see a derelict for a date less outrageous. When I tried to stop for a quick kiss for the third time, he had enough and threatened to carry me the rest of the way home. To which I replied that would be fine with me since that way, I would be conveniently closer to my aim. He grumbled something Italian and started to pull me along instead of carrying me.

I had hoped Giacomo would accompany me to my room, or at least to the window. But no. He wouldn't go within a hundred yards of my house. As soon as it was in sight he stopped, wishing me good night, and no amount of begging on my part could make him come one step closer.

“This is stupid,” I grumbled. “Why won't you come?”

“Angela.” He said my name. Nothing more.

“What?”

“Angela, don't you see? I feel guilty enough as it is. I couldn't...” He broke off.

“Guilty?” As I stared up at him, my eyes were angry, hurt, demanding. “Why guilty? Is it such a terrible thing, wanting to see me? Are you ashamed of me?”

“No!” His hands were suddenly cupping my face. “No, that's not what I meant, of course not! It's just... I can't justify doing this. You're so young... so innocent in the ways of the world. I feel guilty because it seems so easy for someone like me to make a young girl to be attracted.”

“You didn't make me do anything. I want this!”

“That's exactly why I feel guilty,” he whispered. “You shouldn't want this. You shouldn't have to go through the things you're going through. You shouldn't have to keep secrets from the ones you love. I feel terrible enough for taking you from your home in the middle of the night. I simply can't come near your home. It would feel wrong, terribly wrong. The guilt increases with every step, the thought of your parents... if they knew – what would they say?”

I could imagine what they would say. It was colorful, and probably worse than his worst imaginings. Instead of telling him that, I put my arms around his waist.

“It doesn't matter what they would say.”

“But it does!” Giacomo's voice was almost a snarl.

“No. It only matters what I think.”

“And what do you think?”

I think that I never want to let go of you. And I think that that's stupid, because you're a stranger to me, and tell me to my face that you won't let me into your life and into your secrets. And I think that I probably can't help it, anyway, because I've never felt the way about anyone I do about you. And, oh yes, I also happen to think that you are the hottest guy in whole wide world, but that's just a bonus.

“I think that I would like you to come to my house with me,” I said and saw him shaking his head. But before he could say anything I continued: “But I know that probably won't happen, so I think that I deserve a goodby kiss.”

A smile crept onto his full lips.

“You deserve everything good in the world.”

“Thanks. I'll settle for a kiss.”