Shady

Chapter 20

I decided to go ahead and post chapter 20, so read it and enjoy it. And I thank the people who have read/voted/commented! You guys are the reason I keep updating. Stay awesome. <3 Oh, by the way, if you really want to sink into this chapter, open your ears to this song on your right. It will definitely set the mood for you. ;]

You know how I said I would never do something that would potentially screw me up completely? Well, I’m sure you already know that that promise flew right out the window, and I was practically waving goodbye. ‘Cause the longer I stood in Collin’s arms, the more I forgot the way he shoved his meddling self into the life I didn’t want him to see. I was compelled by this confusing, handsome being. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking as I continued to kiss him, but whatever it was got swallowed up by what I was doing.

When I finally pulled away after what felt like an eternity, I realized I was practically wrapped around him. My fingers were knotted in his hair and I was pressed against him as much as possible. If I thought I was in trouble before, I was most definitely in deep shit now.

“Holy shit,” I mumbled, my lips nearly brushing his.

He chuckled and pulled away completely, keeping hold of one of my hands as he twined his fingers with mine. “Come on. There’s one more thing I want to do.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I didn’t say a word as we made our way through the bustling crowd of people. Shamefully, I admit that I would probably go anywhere with this guy.

So much for not wanting to get close to him.

Let the self-loathing begin. How the hell am I supposed to leave now? I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this stupid date. Well, this date wasn’t stupid; it was actually very thoughtful, and that’s what I hate about it. Everything about him just beckons me, slowly reels me in. I realize that it’s been like that since the beginning. I was a sucker for sweetness. But was it right for me to just forget about what he did? How do I know he doesn’t know “other” things about me? I mean, hell, Grams could’ve told him everything straight up through my teen years. If he met Aiden, does that mean he knows what happened? Does he know that I’m the one who did that to him?

I sneaked a peek up at his slightly smiling face. I frowned a bit. Honestly, I think he’s too good for me. I used to be a reckless teenager who didn’t give a shit about driving responsibilities, obviously. Or any responsibilities for that matter. I’ll admit it: I was a frequent partygoer. I’d wake up on some random person’s living room floor with a hangover that would make Charlie Sheen proud. I used to smoke cigarettes like they were a lifeline, and I didn’t really hang out with the best of people. But I’m not like that anymore. After the accident, I changed. I dropped all the bad habits that led up to that. Of course I’m ashamed of who I used to be, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t made those choices. So, like I said: he is definitely too good for me. He deserves someone…not like me. If anyone in the media group knew about my past, they’d be all over that dish like it was the cure to cancer. People at BHU would scatter the news throughout campus, and Monica would probably hire a parade to march down the street. No, really, I think she would actually consider that idea.

Collin stopped at the railing of the boardwalk, and I nearly bumped into him because of my incessant daydreaming. I looked straight ahead, over the glistening water of the ocean and realized the sun was setting. Let me tell you, it was absolutely gorgeous. It was picture-worthy. It was unfortunate that I didn’t have a camera.