Married to a stranger

Here I am laying in bed next to this man and I wonder when did we get here. Maybe it was when I got pregnant or when I didnt have the courage to turn around and leave. Here I am almost three years into our marriage looking at my legal husband asking why did I marry you? I always tough marriage was a thing of love between two people but now I realize it's just a f*cking bomb waiting to explode. Maybe I have a cold heart but he made me this way all the s*it he put me through I laugh now when I think back I feel stupid for sticking with this man who doesn't even deserve to know my name let me start from the beginning fill you in a little.

Year 2008 (The introduction)

Hey girl let me get you wristband,were at this club that of course gives you wristbands depending on your age and of course I'm only 18 but I want to get my drink on. I'm eyeing the s*it out of my f*ck buddy yeah he's gonne get it tonight. Every time I pass by he grabs my a** it's this little game we play leave to the club with our friends and then we act like we don't know each other and we flirt and touch all night. Was I always like this no I used to be in a relationship with the love of my life for almost 3 years we were young and in high school so I did what I do best I broke up with him numerous times just so I could date other people call me a b*tch a hoe whatever but I didn't feel the need to be committed I mean I'm young I need to live my life right? So here I am wearing my skimpiest outfit loving the attention I'm 5'5 130 pounds curves in all the right places long hair I'm f*ck able who wouldn't want to do me. I pass by my girl who's sitting at the table she's like hey let me introduce you to my boy I look him up and down doing a quick assessment he's too short,too skinny uhhh I'm not even going to bother I look down he has his hand stretched out to me uhhh hello and I walk away loser!!. Go home that night have sec with my butt buddy he's ok but I know well never be more than just my butt buddy I get lonely and I want a relationship at times but why bother I'm loving the freedom. So I go up to my room after all I gotta work Monday night and who knows what my girls and I got planned for tomorrow.

2 weeks later(Work is work)

So I stroll in to work and dam who is that fine piece of a** at that same moment he turned around ohh no it's the guy from the club just keep it moving. We stand around for rollcall then they tell us were we are all going to work today all I hear is blah,blah,blah. Ok everyone go to work here goes another night so I look around and I'm posted with none other than club guy well this should be interesting. Over the past 2 weeks all I hear is my friend tell me how she's obsessed with this guy but he keeps rejecting her strange maybe he's gay. "So what's up with you and my boy" he ask I look at him why is he in my business "nothing why?"did I tell you I f*cked his friend but he messed it up by telling the whole world so I dropped him like a fly my sex life is my sex life not everyone needs to know about it. So my girls and I told him off and I spread a rumor that he was obsessed with me and he made the whole having sex with me up. He looks at me strangely now it's my turn to interrogate him I mean I basically know everything thanks to my girl but I have a feeling he might be a hoe and f*ck anything with legs. "So what's up with you and my girl she like you,you know that right" he looks over at me and smirks then said "nothing" in the back of my mind I'm like lies I know about your make out session with her. Surprisingly the night went well I flirted a little but it was harmless then we said our goodbyes and went home.

And it starts

I need to check my email see if my other buddy wrote to me. Have I told you that I stopped talking to my butt buddy after work the day I was posted with club guy that's my name for him I really need to start respecting my self, I would never have sex with a guy unless I knew him well and we were dating so now I have cyber buddies from back home. I step into the hallway and see club guy "hey can I use your computer" if he sais no ima be pissed "yea come to my room" yes I knew it. I step into his room it's quite clean and organized for a guy I'm sitting at the desk writing on the laptop. "hey you seen this movie" I look up umm no I haven't so he pops it in it's quite funny.